Mind Matters: Bored Nothing to Do
Years ago, dear friends gave our little children a book by Peter Spier. Bored—Nothing To Do was its title. As I recall, the pages were wordless, but our children anticipated with great delight the detailed illustrations that told the story of what two boys did one day as a “result” of their boredom.
Not succumbing to TV or cell phones or any electronic games to keep them busy, these brothers were inspired by the sight of a dusty airplane propeller hanging in the barn. They scavenged the house for tools and parts and began tinkering. Yes, they took apart their mother’s washing machine and absconded with the wheels of their little brother’s baby carriage. But in the end? Well, by the last page, voila, they had fabricated an airplane, flown it (yes, it was full-size!), and then, at their parents stern, but proud, amazed behest, they put back all that they had collected for their adventure.
No, I am not saying that we want our children taking apart the house; but, perhaps this story is a metaphor for all of us. Boredom and its companion, stillness, is necessary for creativity. We fill our lives and our children’s lives with to-do lists rather than give ourselves space for being.
The boys of Spier’s saga were bored and no one shuttled them to yet another activity to fill their day. Nor were they plunked in front of some electronic device to live vicariously through someone else’s reality show or celebrity makeover.
Children are kept busy. And we are too. We feel guilty when we sit still and allow ourselves to be quiet. We worry if we’re not busy; and we stay busy so we don’t worry. We keep busy for fear of what boredom and stillness may bring—facing ourselves.
Amazing, however, how much can happen when we befriend boredom and welcome stillness. If, for a while, we sat in a chair by a window to watch the birds, what might we see? If we sat still and just noticed our breathing for a few minutes, how might we relax?
We are bombarded by junk mail, sound bites, emails, facebook, twitter, and who knows what next? Meanwhile, we need to come back to our own core and just be—let ourselves be bored, be still. Who knows what creativity and aliveness will bubble from that well within? If not the creation of an airplane, perhaps a flight into something not yet known.
Kayta Curzie Gajdos holds a doctorate in counseling psychology and is in private practice in Chadds Ford, Pennsylvania. She welcomes comments at MindMatters@DrGajdos.com or (610)388-2888. Past columns are posted to http://www.drgajdos.com.
About Kayta Gajdos
Dr. Kathleen Curzie Gajdos ("Kayta") is a licensed psychologist (Pennsylvania and Delaware) who has worked with individuals, couples, and families with a spectrum of problems. She has experience and training in the fields of alcohol and drug addictions, hypnosis, family therapy, Jungian theory, Gestalt therapy, EMDR, and bereavement. Dr. Gajdos developed a private practice in the Pittsburgh area, and was affiliated with the Family Therapy Institute of Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, having written numerous articles for the Family Therapy Newsletter there. She has published in the American Psychological Association Bulletin, the Family Psychologist, and in the Swedenborgian publications, Chrysalis and The Messenger. Dr. Gajdos has taught at the college level, most recently for West Chester University and Wilmington College, and has served as field faculty for Vermont College of Norwich University the Union Institute's Center for Distance Learning, Cincinnati, Ohio. She has also served as consulting psychologist to the Irene Stacy Community MH/MR Center in Western Pennsylvania where she supervised psychologists in training. Currently active in disaster relief, Dr. Gajdos serves with the American Red Cross and participated in Hurricane Katrina relief efforts as a member of teams from the Department of Health and Human Services' Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Now living in Chadds Ford, in the Brandywine Valley of eastern Pennsylvania, Dr. Gajdos combines her private practice working with individuals, couples and families, with leading workshops on such topics as grief and healing, the impact of multigenerational grief and trauma shame, the shadow and self, Women Who Run with the Wolves, motherless daughters, and mediation and relaxation. Each year at Temenos Retreat Center in West Chester, PA she leads a griefs of birthing ritual for those who have suffered losses of procreation (abortions, miscarriages, infertility, etc.); she also holds yearly A Day of Re-Collection at Temenos.Dr. Gajdos holds Master's degrees in both philosophy and clinical psychology and received her Ph.D. in counseling at the University of Pittsburgh. Among her professional affiliations, she includes having been a founding member and board member of the C.G. Jung Educational Center of Pittsburgh, as well as being listed in Who's Who of American Women. Currently, she is a member of the American Psychological Association, The Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the Delaware Psychological Association, the American Family Therapy Academy, The Association for Death Education and Counseling, and the Delaware County Mental Health and Mental Retardation Board. Woven into her professional career are Dr. Gajdos' pursuits of dancing, singing, and writing poetry.
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