January 24, 2012 - ChaddsFordLive.com

In My Experience: Looking For Love

Along the Ford

Dear Jeanne-Marie,

What is the secret to loving
and being loved unconditionally?

Signed, Heartfelt

Short Answer:

Dear Heartfelt,

Don’t let the ego get in the
way of the soul.

In My Experience:

Our ego has all these wants.
But our soul has only one want; it doesn’t want to be alone in the world. We
have to stop interfering with what the soul wants by overcoming the fear of
being alone and unloved.

We all use the wants of the ego
to fill the fear. All addictions, not just drugs and alcohol, even minor ones
such as shopping, eating, and sleeping are born of this fear. If we stop the
addiction, withdrawal pain increases until we reach the unendurable feeling of
being completely alone, cut off from the one thing we all really need:
unconditional love.

Once we accept our universal
feelings of aloneness, others are perceived as gifts placed at our doorstep. We
no longer grasp at people or things to fill the void. When we stop grasping,
unconditional love moves naturally between the hearts of two people.

This is most often felt the
first time a mother holds her child in her arms. If her husband does not also
love her unconditionally, and rejoice with her, the marriage will probably end.

In my experience, when
marriages end shortly after a baby is born into it, I do not believe it is
because the husband is neglected as is often the immature excuse. I believe the
husband did not ever love the wife in the first place and married her for some
self-serving reason.

When the mother feels and
receives real love for the
first time, from the baby, the lack of love from the husband becomes crystal
clear.

This reminds me of a good
friend with a moral dilemma. She met this ‘really nice man’ who divorced
shortly after the birth of his child. He told her about his custody battle and
that it is causing him a lot of turmoil. She wants to agree with his side, but
she knows that he is wrong and is afraid if the obvious is stated, my friend
will be out of the picture. She is afraid of being alone again.

My advice to her was to tell
him the truth and state the obvious in gentle terms. If he in turn does the
right thing, she will know he really is a ‘good guy’ and worthy of her time. If
he moves on to someone else who will sympathize with his ‘turmoil’, she has
been spared years of wasted time.

I would take my chances. It is
rare to have the opportunity to show your character and at the same time, see
another’s. Once someone shows you who they are, stop looking for the person you
wish they were. It is not there.

What I have learned about
people is this: The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

Signed, Jeanne-Marie

(If you like this story, please
click Rating above.)

* Jeanne-Marie Curtis came from Philadelphia to Chadds Ford Township in
1990. She has her BBA in HR Management/Employment Law. She is the author ofJunctions by Jeanne-Marie (Every
Woman’s Journey and Journal)
available at ChaddsFordLive.com Products/Books.

* To submit a question:
email Jeanne-Marie at junctionsbyjm@aol.com

About Jeanne-Marie Curtis

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The Doctor is In: Protection from Cervical Cancer

Health

When
you think of cancers that affect women, breast cancer comes readily to mind.
However, another type of cancer – cervical cancer — is another potential
threat to the health of all women. 2011
statistics from the American Cancer Society estimate that more than
12,000 women will be diagnosed with invasive cancer of the cervix, which is
located in the lower part of the uterus. Doctors classify cervical cancer into
two classes: squamous cell carcinoma, which is the most prevalent type, and
adenocarcinoma, which is diagnosed in 10 to 20 percent of women. In fewer
cases, both types of cancerous cells may be present, resulting in what doctors
call mixed carcinoma.

The
primary risk factor for cervical cancer is infection with the human
papillomavirus, the viruses that cause warts. HPV, which affects
both females and males, is spread by sexual intercourse or genital contact.

Other
risk factors for cervical cancer include a personal history of smoking, HIV and
chlamydia infections, and long-term oral contraceptive use, as well as a
history of cervical cancer in your family. Cervical cancer also is more likely
to strike women of African-American or Hispanic descent.

Routine
screening with a Pap test is the primary method of detecting abnormal cells
that may indicate a pre-cancerous condition or an actual malignancy. According
to current guidelines from the American
Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, most healthy women over
age 30 can receive a Pap smear every two to three years, depending on the
results of previous tests. (All women still should see their primary care
provider for an annual pelvic examination beginning at age 21 or upon becoming
sexually active.)

As
with other cancers, when diagnosed and treated in its early stages, cervical
cancer is highly survivable. In fact, thanks to greater use of Pap testing and
advances in medical research, death rates from cervical cancer have decreased
dramatically in the United States over the last decade or so.

In
2006, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved the first-ever vaccine to
prevent infection with HPV for use in females ages 9 to 26 – a major step
forward in the fight against cervical cancer. The vaccine is given in three
injections over a six-month period. In 2009, this vaccine earned a second FDA
approval for use in males ages 9 to 26 for the prevention of genital warts,
which in turn can help stop the spread of HPV to sexual partners. A second HPV
vaccine earned FDA approval in 2009 for use in females ages 9 to 25. The
current recommended guidelines to vaccinate girls against HPV is at 11 to 12
years of age.

The
American Academy of Family Physicians has published a list of questions to ask
your doctor about cervical
cancer. To help decide if the HPV vaccine is right for your daughter
or son, read this informative
guide from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

* Joshua Feinberg, D.O., is a family
medicine physician in practice at the Crozer Health Pavilion,
145 Brinton Lake Road, Suite 201, Glen Mills, PA 19342, 610-459-1619

About Crozer Keystone Staff

Crozer-Keystone Health System’s physicians, specialists and advanced practitioners are committed to improving the health of our community through patient-centered, quality care across a full continuum of health services. Crozer Brinton Lake is Crozer-Keystone’s comprehensive outpatient care facility in western Delaware County, offering primary care, specialty services, outpatient surgery and advanced cancer treatment. Contact us: 300 Evergreen Drive, Glen Mills, PA 19342 http://www.crozerkeystone.org/Brinton-Lake 1-855-254-7425

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Jean C. London of West Grove

Obituaries

Jean C. London, 84, of West Grove, died peacefully at
her residence on Sunday, Jan. 22. She was the wife of Robert C. London, who
passed away in 2009, and with whom she shared 60 years of marriage.

Born in Detroit, Mich., she was the daughter of the late
Marlin and Dorothy Wilson Campbell.

Mrs. London was a retired artist, and a graduate of Michigan
State University.

She attended the First Church of Christ Scientist in West
Chester.

Mrs. London was a devoted mother and wife, and an
accomplished artist and teacher. She was most certainly devoted to her church
and Sunday school, to spread the word of Christian Science and its healings.

She is survived by one son, Mark London and his wife
Michelle of West Grove; one sister, Carol Hilzinger of East Lansing, Mich. and
two grandchildren, Josh London and Hayley London.

Service and burial will be private.

Online condolences may be made by visiting www.griecocares.com

Arrangements by the Kuzo & Grieco Funeral Home, Kennett
Square.