Mind Matters — Books for a New Year

Allow me to offer some reading recommendations to carry you through the
long evenings of winter as we trek onward to spring.

The first book of my list, “Riptide,”
was written by a friend and colleague, Barbara Hale-Seubert. Barbara’s eldest
daughter died as a result of an eating disorder. “Riptide” is Barbara’s candid memoir of her own journey of living
with and then without Erin. As parents, we burden ourselves with the belief
that we can protect our children at all cost. And so, when an adult child
careens down a dangerous path, we tend to blame ourselves for their choices.
Barbara shares her story from tumultuous times to a sense of compassion and
connection for all mothers who suffer and grieve.

Resilience is the theme of the book, “Bounce,” by Robert J Wicks. However, Wicks wisely counsels us to
cope with everyday obstacles, not by avoiding them, but by reflecting on them
and accepting them. Stress and hardship are part and parcel to life. Resilience
then is “the ability to meet, learn from, and not be crushed by the challenges
and stresses of life.” Wicks enjoins us to “Have a Life” and gives practical
suggestions for honing one’s own unique style of self care. (Silence, solitude,
and reflection/mindfulness are strong antidotes to stress.)

My third choice aligns well with both Riptide and Bounce: it is
Calming the Fearful Mind: A ZenResponse
to Terrorism
.” Its author, Thich Nhat Hanh, is a Vietnamese Buddhist monk,
writer, and human rights activist. During the Vietnam war, he met with
Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara to plead for some way to end the war that
had created so much suffering to both Americans and Vietnamese. Thich Nhat
Hanh, in this little book, details a simple plan for how to overcome fear in
ourselves and in our world so that such suffering can be obsolete in the
future. From relationship to family to world, he counsels us in ways to become
calm so that we can deeply listen to ourselves as well as to those whom we
perceive as hurtful. Awareness, mindfulness, is the path to freedom from fears.
Simple, yes. Easy, no. But then the alternative—divisiveness and violence—is
neither simple nor easy. Nor does it give us safety or free us from fear. To
quote the book cover, “Calming the
Fearful Mind
is an invaluable book for anyone who has wondered how to deal
with anger and the desire for retaliation.”

These three brief books for your New Year read are pithy with a
(non-violent) punch.

* Kayta Curzie Gajdos
holds a doctorate in counseling psychology and is in private practice in Chadds
Ford, Pennsylvania. She welcomes comments at MindMatters@DrGajdos.com
or 610-388-2888. Past columns are posted to http://www.drgajdos.com
.

About Kayta Gajdos

Dr. Kathleen Curzie Gajdos ("Kayta") is a licensed psychologist (Pennsylvania and Delaware) who has worked with individuals, couples, and families with a spectrum of problems. She has experience and training in the fields of alcohol and drug addictions, hypnosis, family therapy, Jungian theory, Gestalt therapy, EMDR, and bereavement. Dr. Gajdos developed a private practice in the Pittsburgh area, and was affiliated with the Family Therapy Institute of Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, having written numerous articles for the Family Therapy Newsletter there. She has published in the American Psychological Association Bulletin, the Family Psychologist, and in the Swedenborgian publications, Chrysalis and The Messenger. Dr. Gajdos has taught at the college level, most recently for West Chester University and Wilmington College, and has served as field faculty for Vermont College of Norwich University the Union Institute's Center for Distance Learning, Cincinnati, Ohio. She has also served as consulting psychologist to the Irene Stacy Community MH/MR Center in Western Pennsylvania where she supervised psychologists in training. Currently active in disaster relief, Dr. Gajdos serves with the American Red Cross and participated in Hurricane Katrina relief efforts as a member of teams from the Department of Health and Human Services' Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Now living in Chadds Ford, in the Brandywine Valley of eastern Pennsylvania, Dr. Gajdos combines her private practice working with individuals, couples and families, with leading workshops on such topics as grief and healing, the impact of multigenerational grief and trauma shame, the shadow and self, Women Who Run with the Wolves, motherless daughters, and mediation and relaxation. Each year at Temenos Retreat Center in West Chester, PA she leads a griefs of birthing ritual for those who have suffered losses of procreation (abortions, miscarriages, infertility, etc.); she also holds yearly A Day of Re-Collection at Temenos.Dr. Gajdos holds Master's degrees in both philosophy and clinical psychology and received her Ph.D. in counseling at the University of Pittsburgh. Among her professional affiliations, she includes having been a founding member and board member of the C.G. Jung Educational Center of Pittsburgh, as well as being listed in Who's Who of American Women. Currently, she is a member of the American Psychological Association, The Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the Delaware Psychological Association, the American Family Therapy Academy, The Association for Death Education and Counseling, and the Delaware County Mental Health and Mental Retardation Board. Woven into her professional career are Dr. Gajdos' pursuits of dancing, singing, and writing poetry.

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