Remember the
TV show Mash? That philosophical rendering of the horrors of the Korean War? I
remember one show where Alan Alda noted how the human body was so fragile, yet
the human spirit so resilient.
I am
reminded of these words once again in viewing pictures and hearing accounts of
the multiple disaster in Japan,
from earthquake to tsunami to nuclear power crisis. Meanwhile there is still
devastation in Haiti from the earthquake last year; New Zealand has been
bombarded by two earthquakes months apart. These natural disasters are all
occurring in the midst of uprisings and war in the Middle East.
Our way of
handling the overwhelming may be to check into what Charlie Sheen is doing
next, but that in itself is its own exploitation of a man in need of addiction
and psychotherapeutic treatment. It’s probably fortunate, at least, that Japan
is so many thousands of miles away and is a “developed” country, else we’d be
throwing tons of old shoes, sheets and clothing their way. This is a phenomenon
that rankles me, that when a disaster happens, our first impulse is to clean
out our closets. However, money is always handy, and yes, we do usually give
generously.
There is one
redeeming point to natural versus man-made disasters: psychologically, we seem
to fare better when the devastation is the result of natural rather than human
causes. The trauma of war or terrorist’s violence (homegrown or otherwise) is
an insult to the psyche. How humans can be violent and brutal to other humans
is a violation to our connectedness. Calamities of floods, fires, earthquakes,
hurricanes, most definitely can traumatize us. Yet even worse is human
inhumanity.
In Hurricane
Katrina and in Haiti’s earthquake, natural disasters were compounded by
confounding of the human response. In New Orleans, there appeared to be a lack
of care by some levels of government(certainly the Coast Guard was prompt). In
Haiti, the lack of infrastructure and massive poverty to begin with,
complicated the devastation there.
When we
witness natural disasters such as in Japan we may run the gamut of responses.
On one end of the spectrum we may be vicariously traumatized, identifying with
the suffering we see on TV, read in the newspaper, or hear about on the radio.
We may have flashbacks to past traumas in our lives or we may have some special
connection to the people. (Perhaps we studied there or have friends or
relatives there.) Or perhaps our deep empathy aligns us with the suffering and
we go numb, become overwhelmed. At the other end of the spectrum, we may dismiss
any interest in the events and consider it all far away and having no affect on
us, so no need to care—”not my problem.”
Between
these polarities lies a continuum of reactions. And somewhere in the array is
the “via media.” How do we not turn a blind eye and go into denial of suffering
while at the same time not become vicariously traumatized? As a therapist and
emergency volunteer, I have experienced vicarious traumatization, and there are
answers.
Karen
Saakvitne and Laurie Pearlman wrote many years ago a book called Transforming
the Pain: A Workbook on Vicarious Traumatization. It was meant for
professionals working with traumatized clients but its message can be extended
to anyone who has witnessed trauma (even indirectly through the media).
Their
message can be distilled to the “ABC’s:” Awareness, Balance, and Connection.
Awareness: Know
one’s own limits (how much to TV to watch, e.g.), allowing oneself to feel
emotions, practicing ways of grounding and centering, learning acceptance.
Awareness might also be getting the facts and having time for reflection.
Balance:
maintain balance in activities: work, play, rest. (Balance again includes
knowing when to watch the news, when not to. I recommend not viewing TV or the
computer right before bed.)
Connection:
connect to oneself, and to others, and to something transcendent as well. Talk
to others; listen to others. This can help alleviate isolation and restore
hope.
Whenever we
fly, the attendant always reminds us, if the oxygen mask is needed, place it on
yourself first before attempting to place it on anyone else. The message is
clear: if you are not conscious and breathing yourself, you won’t be able to
help another. So remember to breathe and then see how you can help.
Donations
for relief aid. There are many ways to donate. The March 16, 2011, Philadelphia
Inquirer published a summary compiled by the Associated Press:
http://www.philly.com/philly/news/nation_world/20110316_How_to_Donate_Relief_Aid.html
* Kayta Curzie Gajdos holds a doctorate in
counseling psychology and is in private practice in Chadds Ford, Pennsylvania.
She welcomes comments atMindMatters@DrGajdos.com or 610-388-2888. Past columns
are posted towww.drgajdos.com.
Dr. Kathleen Curzie Gajdos ("Kayta") is a licensed psychologist (Pennsylvania and Delaware) who has worked with individuals, couples, and families with a spectrum of problems. She has experience and training in the fields of alcohol and drug addictions, hypnosis, family therapy, Jungian theory, Gestalt therapy, EMDR, and bereavement. Dr. Gajdos developed a private practice in the Pittsburgh area, and was affiliated with the Family Therapy Institute of Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, having written numerous articles for the Family Therapy Newsletter there. She has published in the American Psychological Association Bulletin, the Family Psychologist, and in the Swedenborgian publications, Chrysalis and The Messenger. Dr. Gajdos has taught at the college level, most recently for West Chester University and Wilmington College, and has served as field faculty for Vermont College of Norwich University the Union Institute's Center for Distance Learning, Cincinnati, Ohio. She has also served as consulting psychologist to the Irene Stacy Community MH/MR Center in Western Pennsylvania where she supervised psychologists in training. Currently active in disaster relief, Dr. Gajdos serves with the American Red Cross and participated in Hurricane Katrina relief efforts as a member of teams from the Department of Health and Human Services' Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Now living in Chadds Ford, in the Brandywine Valley of eastern Pennsylvania, Dr. Gajdos combines her private practice working with individuals, couples and families, with leading workshops on such topics as grief and healing, the impact of multigenerational grief and trauma shame, the shadow and self, Women Who Run with the Wolves, motherless daughters, and mediation and relaxation. Each year at Temenos Retreat Center in West Chester, PA she leads a griefs of birthing ritual for those who have suffered losses of procreation (abortions, miscarriages, infertility, etc.); she also holds yearly A Day of Re-Collection at Temenos.Dr. Gajdos holds Master's degrees in both philosophy and clinical psychology and received her Ph.D. in counseling at the University of Pittsburgh. Among her professional affiliations, she includes having been a founding member and board member of the C.G. Jung Educational Center of Pittsburgh, as well as being listed in Who's Who of American Women. Currently, she is a member of the American Psychological Association, The Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the Delaware Psychological Association, the American Family Therapy Academy, The Association for Death Education and Counseling, and the Delaware County Mental Health and Mental Retardation Board. Woven into her professional career are Dr. Gajdos' pursuits of dancing, singing, and writing poetry.
