November 19, 2009

A few weeks ago I was reading when the phone rang. I got up
and went to my kitchen to answer.

“Hi, this is Ed Wandersee” said a familiar voice.

Having known Ed and his family for more than 25 years I
answered with a cheery and enthusiastic, “Hi Ed!”

 But Ed just kept talking, seemingly oblivious to my
exuberant greeting, and asked me to support Frank Murphy for the
Unionville-Chadds Ford School Board.

I finally realized it wasn’t really Ed, but a pre-recorded
political blurb.

I was very impressed.

But what if there was an office that no one wanted to
fill?  Sort of like the old peace
movement slogan, “What if they gave a war and nobody came?”

One need not look any further than any of the non-profit
museums in Chadds Ford for many examples of board seats going unfilled.

According to Linda Kaat, president of the Brandywine
Battlefield Park Associates, she and Kim Hall, president of the Chester County
Historical Society,  “…had just
spent three hours in ‘therapy’ at the Whip Tavern regarding this topic.”

“No prestige, no money, no time is what I sense from people,
especially the time aspect,” she said.

“Speaking with former board members” she added, “they didn’t
need the aggravation…Different opinions made for bitter meetings.”

Former Chadds Ford Historical Society president, Chadds Ford
Day chair and perennial volunteer, Kathy Wandersee added, “Yes, it is difficult
to find people to take responsible positions in any volunteer
organization.  It all boils down to time–how much time will I have to
commit to?”

“There are still a lot of people who generously give their
time volunteering,” she said, “but the problem is in finding those who will
provide the leadership in these organizations. That requires more time,
thought, dedication and commitment.”

“I really don’t think there is much prestige involved in
today’s leadership, or at least that is not why most are doing it.”

And that’s what it all boils down to: lack of prestige, time
and leadership qualities.

Two years ago, Sanderson Museum Vice President, Dean Camp
and I were having a luncheon meeting with George A. “Frolic” Weymouth, founding
director of the Brandywine River Museum, who kindly offered us invaluable
criteria for choosing new board members.

According to Weymouth the three most important attributes of
a board member should be: wealth, wisdom and work.

True, most boards have had their share of “dead wood” –
people who take up space because it looks good on their résumés. And when push
comes to shove, these same people are not committed to putting in the time and
effort required to advance and sustain their organization.

And though not without her own
board’s vacancies, Sue Minarchi president of the newly restored Sanderson
Museum said, “Non-profit organizations in the Brandywine Valley are gems for
visitors and residents alike. To lose them would be to lose the very flavor of
our wonderful area.”

Minarchi added, “At the Sanderson
Museum, we are fortunate to have an extremely talented group of volunteers
serving in various capacities. I hope more people will decide to donate
their time and effort to these wonderful organizations.”

“I can say from experience,” she
concluded, “that you get in return far more than you give.”

Do I hear a second?

All in favor say “Aye.”

At 6, I wished to be Cinderella’s godmother. At 64, I still wouldn’t mind a magic wand. What would I change? It would be little things that would change the world. It really wouldn’t take much. We make such a grand deal out of what we can’t do, yet if we made little changes wherever we are in whatever moment we’re in, what then?

I hear stories where the scripts could so easily be re-written—no need for a magic wand. Recently, I heard a story about a nursing assistant who works hard at her job taking care of other people’s needs. One day, her father dies in a tragic accident, and her world falls apart—as it is wont to do in traumatic grief. She has difficulty returning to work and then she has her own mishap with a bad fall—another thing that occurs when we are pre-occupied and under stress. We are prone to injuries and accidents. I know this one first hand.

So what does her employer do? Fire her. This woman who always worked hard, has her life unravel even more. Just when she needs health insurance for her injury, she loses it. You can, with minimal imagination, figure out what happens next. If you’re living paycheck to paycheck, the next thing you know you either can’t pay the mortgage or the rent.

What if the story were different? What would happen if employers, especially in the health care field who should know better, would show understanding and empathy? What if they had said to this dedicated caregiver, “it looks like your grief is overwhelming you, how about we help you find counseling,” or “how about a leave of absence while we keep your health insurance going?” “How can we help you, who have helped so many for so many years?” Instead the workplace often regresses into a Charles Dickens universe of unredemptive and reactionary Scrooges.

What if the workplace Scrooges could meet their Christmas ghosts in the present moment rather than out of the past? Script change now instead of repentance at the end of the story? Surely, that would be a lot more helpful to individuals such as this nursing assistant.

So what if I did have a magic wand? I’d wipe away the bottom line mentality of the workplace and replace it with respect and care for the employees.

There are some companies that understand that such  positive regard for their employees creates a good environment not only for the worker, but also for the clients and customers they serve. Would that more workplaces take Charles Dickens to heart.

* Kayta Curzie Gajdos holds a doctorate in counseling psychology and is in private practice in Chadds Ford, Pennsylvania. She welcomes comments at MindMatters@DrGajdos.com or (610)388-2888. Past columns are posted to http://www.DrGajdos.com/Articles.