January 7, 2015

What is it about time and moving into a new year? For me, it is when I think about the past and wonder how the future may be different. There is a saying, I think, that we can make the future different if we make the present different. In other words, for change to happen we need to take action and start the process in the “now.”

Part of that process maybe simply contemplating, dreaming, imagining a better future. Before a house is built, there is an idea and then an image and a blueprint. Same for future plans whether they be for the planet or the individual. We can be guided by our visions of change and growth.

In the last column, I wrote about the WWI Christmas Truce of 1914. The further realization of a lasting peace was thwarted by the powers that be. Nevertheless, the desire for peace did well up in the hearts of those men in the trenches, and I believe the glowing embers of that desire remain warm within all our hearts, somewhere deep down.

Less remote to me — and more in the realm of my own personal experience — is considering my own past. I’ve just joined a women’s choir, Anna Crusis, which will celebrate its 40th anniversary this year. The question arose among the members as to what 1974-75 was like for women.

It actually wasn’t very good. I remember being told I wouldn’t get the raise or the promotion because my male colleague needed it more. In all aspects, suffice it to say, this had nothing to do with my competence versus his. Women couldn’t apply for their own credit cards or get a mortgage. Constantly sexualized and objectified, heterosexual women were demeaned. The plight of lesbian women was even worse. Of course, the plight of gay men was no better.

That was the 1970s, which, in hindsight, although a narrow minded and prejudicial world it was, was still light years beyond the 1950s — which brings me to the topic of Alan Turing who, during WWII, was the genius of the British Intelligence Agency, the Bletchley Circle, who broke the Enigma code of the Germans. Now there is a film, “The Imitation Game,” about his work. While I have yet to see the movie that depicts him as the hero he was, I have seen the documentary, “Codebreaker,” about his life in post-war England.

Alan Turing, a brilliant mathematician who blazed the path to computers and phones as we know them, was a man who probably suffered Aspergers and who was gay. Naively truthful in the midst of a bigoted and constricted British society (that was not unlike the U.S.) with brutal laws against the practice of homosexuality, Turing was arrested for his fraternizing with men and was given the “choice” of prison or hormonal castration. He “chose” the latter which destroyed his body and his mind. How different, one may ask, is this punishment from Hitler’s regime of likewise medical manipulation of those it deemed “defective” for dint of difference? In 1952, Turing committed suicide.

1914 1952, 1974; there are many times before and after these markers that indicate how unconscious and brutal we have been, or how conscious and connected we can be.

The choice is for each one of us to make. Do we choose to be on the side of the growth of human consciousness or do we choose to fear change and grasp onto what we thought was right only because it’s the only thing we ever knew. Consider slavery: Even something that had been around for two thousand years doesn’t make it moral.

Question yourself and what notions you might consider changing in the New Year. What have you already changed?

* Kayta Curzie Gajdos holds a doctorate in counseling psychology and is in private practice in Chadds Ford, Pennsylvania. She welcomes comments at MindMatters@DrGajdos.com or 610-388-2888. Past columns are posted to www.drgajdos.com. 

 

 

Now that the new year is upon us and our lives are again renewed with a sense of hope, wonder, and anticipation of what’s to come, I wanted to wish you a safe, happy, passionate, purposeful, and prosperous new year.

With the dawn of each new day, and the turning of another page in our calendar of life, we can easily find ourselves ambitious, and yet cynical at the same time. Certainly, with all this evidence of years gone by, weighing on the hopes and dreams of success this year, failure can seem inevitable, yet again.

Will this be another year of dashed hopes, broken dreams, and unfulfilled goals? Will you find yourself yearning for the success that others have achieved, wondering why it never works out for you, and why you just can’t seem to accomplish what your heart desires?

No way. Not as long as I have the ability to give you the wisdom it takes in order to take your life to the next level of success. In fact, I think that part of the problem is that you’re setting your sites too low, to achievable, and too small.

That’s why I want to encourage you to step up your game this year and become a “D” student.

That’s right, in order to really achieve your goals, fulfill your ambitions, and live a life of sustained motivation you’re going to have to set your standards higher, desire goals that seem unachievable, and create bigger goals for yourself.

In order to do that, you’re going to have to understand exactly what it takes to accomplish anything, and every thing in your life.

That’s why I want to introduce you to the “D’s” of achievement.

First, you must simply have the Desire to accomplish something. Desire will not go away, but unfortunately if you don’t heed the call of desire, your desire will turn to regret.

Next, you must get Disgusted at the idea and the reality that you don’t have what you desire. You need to feel emotionally attached to the negative repercussions of not pursuing your goals.

Now, Decide that right now is the time you are going to do something about this feeling.   This is your life, and no one is going to give you permission to live it the way you want, you just have to decide to make it happen.

Now that you’ve decided, you must Describe your reason why. Make it matter to you! Your reason why needs to be the driving force behind everything you do.

You’ve now got a foundation of success, but you must bring it in to existence by declaring it to others. Declare what you will be, do, or have in your life. Even if people doubt you, it’s up to you to turn the doubters into believers.

Once you’ve declared your goals, you’ll need to Design a plan to make them happen. What are the steps to success? Who, what, where, when, and how? You’ve already described your why, not design your plan.

Finally, and this is where the action takes place, you must Do something immediately toward the achievement of that goal! Change happens at the level of action! By doing something, you create momentum, and without momentum there is no movement.

Make this your best year ever by becoming a “D” student and mastering these D words.

Each year, over 4,000 of Pennsylvania’s children survive traumatic brain injuries significant enough to require hospitalization. Many of these children are left with life-altering difficulties in physical, cognitive or behavioral functioning.

The Chester County BrainSTEPS Consulting Team, which is working with a reentry program to educate those who provide educational support to children with brain injury, is sponsoring a public awareness event – “Concussion 101: For Families, Professionals and Our Community” – on Tuesday, Jan. 13, from 6 to 8 p.m.

The keynote speaker will be Chris Nowinski, the co-founder and executive director of the Sports Legacy Institute, a nonprofit dedicated to solving the sports concussion crisis. A former Harvard football player and WWE professional wrestler, Nowinski was forced to retire after a series of concussions.

His challenging recovery from post-concussion syndrome led him to write the book Head Games: Football’s Concussion Crisis, published in 2006, and updated in 2012, an effort to educate parents, coaches, and children about this previously hidden public health issue.

Nowinski co-directs the Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy at Boston University School of Medicine, serves on the National Football League Players Association Mackey/White TBI Research Committee, and the board of directors of the Brain Injury Association of America. He was also a 2011 Eisenhower Fellow.

The presentation will include information on the causes and consequences of concussions and the long-term impact of repeated injury.

The free program will be held at the Brandywine Campus of the Chester County Intermediate Unit’s Technical College High. Participants should enter at the cafeteria – Entrance B. The school is located at 455 Boot Rd., Downingtown, Pa., 19335.

Light refreshments will be available.
Attendees are asked to RSVP in advance at www.cciu.org/Concussion10.