June 11, 2014 - Page 2 of 2 - ChaddsFordLive.com

From the Rabbi’s Study: A sacred cyber-conversation

Writing a newspaper column is a different experience from delivering a sermon or teaching a class. Unfortunately, addressing the public in print denies me the opportunity to see your faces as we learn together. Of course, on the other hand, it spares me from watching your faces should my words serve instead as a soporific.

Nevertheless, the goal is similar in both writing and speaking, to establish a relationship and to disseminate my thoughts to you so that you can digest them and sharpen them with your responses.

As a rabbi, this is what I do. You may have heard the old saying that anytime you ask a question of two Jewish people, you will receive at least three opinions. This column will be based on the theological underpinnings of that perhaps overstated observation.

There is a Mishna, a rabbinic teaching from some time during or before the Second Century of the Common Era in which the rabbis explain that among the infinite qualities which separate human beings from the Divine is God’s ability to create each of us in the Divine image, and yet to render each of us unique. To illustrate this, the rabbis teach that when a mortal person creates many coins from the same mold, all the coins are alike, but God has created every human being from the model of Adam, the first human being, and yet no person is identical to any other. (After Mishna Sanhedrin 4:5)

This suggests that no one person, and not even any one community, constitutes a perfect facsimile of our Creator. Rather, the image of God is a mosaic composed of all of us. Further, the most accessible way for us to explore the breadth and the depth of our relationship with God, is to get to know as many different people and opinions and personalities as we can and to incorporate each of them into our conception of the Almighty — not a task for the faint of heart.

And yet that is the starting point of Rabbinic Judaism. The Talmud, the running commentary of ancient rabbinic wisdom, is at the same time the central legal text of the Jewish people and also an artistically rendered transcript of fractious rabbinic conversations that unfold over centuries. We are taught that some conversations and even arguments can be “for the sake of heaven,” and that two competing views can both the “words of the living God.”

In my tradition, truly holy communities are not cultivated by assembling only people who agree with each other. Sacred assemblies are constructed by bringing individuals together who are serious about living according their own perception of the truth of God’s existence, and who are, at the same time, equally serious about cherishing the truths and insights of others.

So, I’m not sure where this column will take us. I invite you to let me know if there are issues that you would like to learn about with a rabbi. I look forward to reading the columns written by my colleagues from other faith traditions. But most of all, I look forward to building a relationship with this on-line community and exploring the sacred together.

About Rabbi Eric M. Rosin

Rabbi Eric Rosin began his professional career as an attorney in Los Angeles serving the entertainment industry, but discovered he needed to be doing something he was passionate about. He left the practice of law and began studying for ordination at the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies in Los Angeles. After ordination, Rabbi Rosin served for two years as the assistant rabbi of Temple Beth-El in Richmond, Va., then assumed the pulpit at Kesher Israel Congregation in West Chester, Pa. in 2004.

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Mind Matters: Scapegoating, another defense

Health

“… Aaron shall bring forward the live goat. Laying both hands on its head, he shall confess over it all the sinful faults and transgressions of the Israelites, and so put them on the goat’s head. He shall then have it led into the desert by an attendant. Since the goat is to carry off their inequities to an isolated region, it must be sent away into the desert.” (Leviticus 16:20-23)

There you have the biblical origin of the scapegoat. Greeks had their form of scapegoat too, whereby a cripple or beggar or criminal would be cast out of the community because of some natural disaster.

That was then, this is now—and, scapegoating still abounds. Family therapists years ago noted how a dysfunctional family might cast a member in the role of identified patient. This is the person perceived as having the problem, while in fact this individual is “unconsciously selected to act out the family’s conflicts as a diversion; who is the split-off carrier of (the perhaps trans-generational) family disturbance.” (Wikipedia!)

Generally speaking, scapegoating is singling out an individual, group, or country for negative treatment or blame. Scapegoating may be a defense against facing ourselves —“not my fault, but yours and theirs”— it is also a defense against the reality of our own vulnerability.

Let me bring this closer to home. Ever notice how we often blame the victim for the trauma that befalls him or her? When a young woman is raped, often we hear “she was provocative, she went down the wrong street, what was she doing out at that hour,” etc.

When Trayvon Martin was killed, the rumor mill took off, defaming the victim. Even closer to home, I recall how a family, in the grief group I facilitate, suffered not only the death of their son, but the despicable reactions of people posting on the internet how they were bad parents for allowing their 12-year-old to “ride his bicycle on that street.”

We scapegoat unconsciously all the time. I remember being blamed by some people for my having miscarriages. “Well, you know you should have tried to get pregnant sooner,” or “Do you have an anger problem?” or “Are you sure you’re eating right?”

In all these cases the scapegoat-maker is protecting himself or herself from the inevitable vicissitudes of life: “Must be your fault, therefore that can’t happen to me.” The unspoken corollary is “I’m good, you’re bad.”

And what about what is going on in our country right now? Our most recent national scapegoat is Bowe Bergdahl. Rather than welcome home this soldier held captive by the Taliban in Afghanistan for more than five years, there has been a movement afoot to discredit and blame him. When I saw the video footage of his release, I observed a man confused, traumatized, and who perhaps hadn’t seen the light of day for a long while. This man just got out of the desert; there is no need to scapegoat him back into another.

* Kayta Curzie Gajdos holds a doctorate in counseling psychology and is in private practice in Chadds Ford. She welcomes comments at MindMatters@DrGajdos.com or 610-388-2888. Past columns are posted to www.drgajdos.com.

About Kayta Gajdos

Dr. Kathleen Curzie Gajdos ("Kayta") is a licensed psychologist (Pennsylvania and Delaware) who has worked with individuals, couples, and families with a spectrum of problems. She has experience and training in the fields of alcohol and drug addictions, hypnosis, family therapy, Jungian theory, Gestalt therapy, EMDR, and bereavement. Dr. Gajdos developed a private practice in the Pittsburgh area, and was affiliated with the Family Therapy Institute of Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, having written numerous articles for the Family Therapy Newsletter there. She has published in the American Psychological Association Bulletin, the Family Psychologist, and in the Swedenborgian publications, Chrysalis and The Messenger. Dr. Gajdos has taught at the college level, most recently for West Chester University and Wilmington College, and has served as field faculty for Vermont College of Norwich University the Union Institute's Center for Distance Learning, Cincinnati, Ohio. She has also served as consulting psychologist to the Irene Stacy Community MH/MR Center in Western Pennsylvania where she supervised psychologists in training. Currently active in disaster relief, Dr. Gajdos serves with the American Red Cross and participated in Hurricane Katrina relief efforts as a member of teams from the Department of Health and Human Services' Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Now living in Chadds Ford, in the Brandywine Valley of eastern Pennsylvania, Dr. Gajdos combines her private practice working with individuals, couples and families, with leading workshops on such topics as grief and healing, the impact of multigenerational grief and trauma shame, the shadow and self, Women Who Run with the Wolves, motherless daughters, and mediation and relaxation. Each year at Temenos Retreat Center in West Chester, PA she leads a griefs of birthing ritual for those who have suffered losses of procreation (abortions, miscarriages, infertility, etc.); she also holds yearly A Day of Re-Collection at Temenos.Dr. Gajdos holds Master's degrees in both philosophy and clinical psychology and received her Ph.D. in counseling at the University of Pittsburgh. Among her professional affiliations, she includes having been a founding member and board member of the C.G. Jung Educational Center of Pittsburgh, as well as being listed in Who's Who of American Women. Currently, she is a member of the American Psychological Association, The Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the Delaware Psychological Association, the American Family Therapy Academy, The Association for Death Education and Counseling, and the Delaware County Mental Health and Mental Retardation Board. Woven into her professional career are Dr. Gajdos' pursuits of dancing, singing, and writing poetry.

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Boost Your Business: is your employee handbook 2014 compliant?

Business

An employee handbook lays the groundwork for how a business runs from day to day. If your handbook isn’t used or updated consistently, your business may not be running as efficiently as possible and be at high risk for costly employee relations issues.

Your handbook needs to reflect compliance with applicable federal, state and local laws. This does not mean that every law needs to be specifically addressed and reiterated in detail in the handbook. Rather, the handbook should not conflict with any applicable law and should contain a clear statement that the company intends to comply with all applicable laws.

Your handbook should be tailored to your company and should clearly reflect how your company does business. Copying another company’s handbook or just adopting a handbook you find online, even from a very reputable source ,may do more harm than good.

Benefits of a Good Employee Handbook:

Reduction of risk – Employee Relations Lawsuits can easily be SIX FIGURES.
The peace of mind that comes with KNOWING your policies are compliant.
Consistency in policies across your entire organization
Reduced risk of discrimination by following your newly developed concrete policies.
Rise in employee morale, increase in productivity and in your bottom line.

A well-written, lawful employee handbook has no downsides and provides an employer with all the flexibility necessary to address the myriad of possibilities when it comes to employee actions and inactions.

Even though employees won’t always follow the rules, they do like to know the rules. Employees like to know what conduct is expected by the company and what punishment they might expect if they fail to follow the rules.

An employee handbook is primarily a rule book. Written correctly, the handbook allows a company to address a wide variety of rule violations without limiting the company’s ability to respond on a case-by-case basis as necessary.

For this reason, it is suggested that most employers avoid a formal progressive discipline policy wherein a list of rule violations is associated with a particular “punishment.” Most companies are much better off training managers to respond appropriately and timely to employee rule violations and/or poor performance.

You want employees to behave in a certain way:

Your company handbook should tell employees what your company expects not only to avoid disciplinary action, but also to tell them how they can succeed. For example, the employee handbook should tell an employee how to: request time off, inform the appropriate manager about possible harassment or discrimination, keep a time record, report possible theft, dress in an appropriate manner, refrain from drug and alcohol use, maintain confidential information, interact via social media, use various electronic resources, comply with applicable laws, etc.

You want your employees treated in a consistent manner:

While a handbook should not be an “instruction book” on how to manage or deal with every conceivable problem or issue, it should provide a framework for managers to follow in dealing with various circumstances.

You want to win unemployment claims:

In most states, winning an unemployment claim for a terminated employee requires proof that the terminated employee was on notice of a certain rule (or rules) and had been warned that violating the rule would lead to disciplinary action up to and including immediate termination.

A well-written employee handbook is the beginning of a successful defense. The page of the handbook containing the applicable policy, as well as the signed acknowledgement page, should be the first step of any unemployment paperwork submission for a rule violation or poor performance termination.

Many employment-based lawsuits hinge on consistent treatment of employees and/or ensuring that employees were on notice of important company policies and procedures. A well-written employee handbook that reflects a company’s actual practices serves both of these purposes.

The employee handbook and the employee’s signed acknowledgement form are nearly always exhibits in a lawsuit and can help a company win a lawsuit. Imagine a jury looking at your employee handbook: What does your current employee handbook say about your company? Is it out of date? Does it contain unlawful provisions? Does it contain inconsistencies? Could it be a better reflection of your company?

If you don’t think a jury would be impressed with the quality of your handbook, consider revising and updating your handbook right away.

HIPAA and PPACA:

While some of the Health Care Reform mandates have been pushed out a little further, there are still a few things you need to do now. And one of them is updating your Employee Handbook to make sure it is in compliance with the Health Care Reform changes.

Important: Offering Coverage to New Employees and Defining Full-Time Employees

For more information on custom employee handbooks, please feel free to contact Maria Novak, owner of Marketing Solutions & Business Development.

* Maria L. Novak Dugan is president of Marketing Solutions & Business Development, a firm in West Chester, PA, offering creative marketing services and goal implementation for small & medium sized businesses. For more information, contact Maria at 610-405-0633 or MariaNovak001@yahoo.com or visit www.Maria-L-Novak.com

About Maria Novak Dugan

Maria L. Novak Dugan is president of Marketing Solutions & Business Development, a firm serving Pennsylvania, Delaware, and Maryland, offering creative marketing services and goal implementation for small businesses. She has more than 30 years’ experience in the Marketing & Sales Industry ... 13 of those as the sole sales representative for a Pennsylvania payroll company growing their client base by over 500%. Maria Novak Dugan is also the former Managing Director of the Delaware Chapter of eWomenNetwork. Creating, developing, and conducting this division of a national organization strengthened her knowledge of networking, event planning, fundraising, and small-business development. For more information, contact Maria at 610-405-0633 or Maria@Maria-L-Novak.com or visit www.Maria-L-Novak.com

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Chadds Ford Hypnosis helping veterans with PTSD

Health

May 26, 2014 – Chadds Ford, PA – In appreciation for all that our military veterans have done for us, Chadds Ford Hypnosis is proud to announce ‘The Veterans’ Care Program.’

“Far too many of our veterans return home from combat filled with anger, fear, guilt, shame or remorse,” says Thomas McGurn, Director of Chadds Ford Hypnosis. Mr. McGurn continued, “Many who suffer with Post-Traumatic Stress do not get the help they need to relieve the stress and anxiety that has been tormenting them. Many also refuse to talk about their experiences.”

McGurn is an Air Force veteran who served in the Dominican Republic in 1965 as part of the Organization of American States Task Force to combat the communist insurgency. He knows first-hand what veterans experience in combat. This is one of the reasons why he created a special Stress Management Program designed specifically to help veterans who experience flashbacks or nightmares as a result of Post-Traumatic Stress.

McGurn is a master practitioner of neuro-linguistic programming and certified hypnotist. He first became a certified Hypnotist in 1979 after studying at The Ethical Hypnosis Training Center under Mr. Harry Arons. He is a proud member of The National Guild of Hypnotists and is also a Certified Hypnosis Trainer.

The Stress Management Program teaches veterans how to identify and control the danger signals that drive unwanted behavior. Chadds Ford Hypnosis teaches strategies necessary to prevent having negative reactions to triggers by utilizing effective stress management techniques. Veterans learn how to identify and control stress triggers, overcome obstacles and increase optimism.

In addition to the Stress and Anxiety Reduction Program, Chadds Ford Hypnosis also offers veterans both individual and group sessions that range from stopping smoking to helping them with relationship problems.

As a partner in the Delaware County Veterans Discount Program, Chadds Ford Hypnosis offers programs to veterans at a 50 percent or more reduction in cost. For those who qualify with a 100 percent service related disability, the services are provided at no cost to the veteran. The Web site has a complete list of programs and services offered – www.ChaddsFordHypnosis.com. For veterans who do not have access to a computer, Chadds Ford Hypnosis can be reached at 610.361.4446.

About Press Release

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