Mind Matters: True refuge

Posted by Dr. Kayta Gajdos on April 3, 2013

Twenty-five years ago, I wanted to introduce meditation and mindfulness to my colleagues and clients. While there were a cadre of psychotherapists interested in these practices, the mainstream of psychotherapy looked askance at such “goings on.”

Now? The words meditation and mindfulness are bandied about from health newsletters to self help books, and advances in medicine and in particular neuroscience have validated the benefits of practice.

In fact, the April edition of the newsletter, Healthy Years, reported that mindfulness meditation may relieve chronic inflammation in addition to calming the mind. Mindfulness is bringing awareness to the present moment by non-judgmental witnessing of any thoughts, feelings, sensations, actions or urges that arise. Mindful awareness practices that reduce stress include meditation, centering prayer, yoga, tai chi, qi gong. Since the stress response can precipitate inflammation in the body, scientists theorize that mindfulness that reduces stress may also reduce inflammation.

However, mindfulness and meditation goes beyond stress reduction. Psychologist and meditation teacher Tara Brach invites us in her new book “True Refuge” to employ meditation to connect more deeply with ourselves as well as with others and the world around us. She reminds us, in simple terms, that mindful meditation is about cultivating calm and clarity in the midst of crisis and chaos. Although not the originator of the four-step process, RAIN, Brach succinctly explains the acronym.

RAIN is a wonderful guide for deconstructing our habitual and unhealthy responses to the vicissitudes of life with the essentials of mindful awareness:

R: Recognition is paying attention to the thoughts, feelings, sensations that arise in the here and now. It is being open to witness our own responses to any situation — even our responses to the driver who just cut us off on the highway.

A: Allowing life to be as it is or “letting be.” Thoughts, feelings and sensations are allowed to simply come and go, without controlling them or holding on to them. What happens in meditation transfers to our everyday lives so that we become open to our experiences rather than tightly wound around our judgments of ourselves and others.

I: According to Brach, sometimes we can reconnect with ourselves and attain calmness just by following the R and A of RAIN. Other times, we need a capital I, “investigate with kindness.” This is especially needed when our crises go beyond “recognize and allow.” Sometimes we are in the brambly thicket of overwhelming feelings. Perhaps we’re confronting a major loss—a death or a divorce, financial burdens, and so on. In these cases, we need to focus and reflect, what am I experiencing in my body? What needs my attention? The key, however, is to be a kind investigator. We gently accept whatever answers arise without harsh judgment of ourselves.

N: If we cultivate R, A, and I, N is the outcome, says Brach. Non-identification (N) means that our egos are no longer in charge and that we are not hooked by our thoughts and feelings.

No guru on the mountaintop, Brach, in “True Refuge”, meets us with mindfulness meditation at eye, earthly level. With her examples of pain and crises in her own life and in the lives of her clients, she invites us to intimately acknowledge that openness and vulnerability can bring us to true refuge of our own awakened hearts.

For further information see www.tarabrach.com, www.marc.ucla.edu, and www.pennmedicine.org/stress

* Kayta Curzie Gajdos holds a doctorate in counseling psychology and is in private practice in Chadds Ford, Pennsylvania. She welcomes comments at MindMatters@DrGajdos.com or 610-388-2888. Past columns are posted to www.drgajdos.com.

About Kayta Gajdos

Dr. Kathleen Curzie Gajdos ("Kayta") is a licensed psychologist (Pennsylvania and Delaware) who has worked with individuals, couples, and families with a spectrum of problems. She has experience and training in the fields of alcohol and drug addictions, hypnosis, family therapy, Jungian theory, Gestalt therapy, EMDR, and bereavement. Dr. Gajdos developed a private practice in the Pittsburgh area, and was affiliated with the Family Therapy Institute of Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, having written numerous articles for the Family Therapy Newsletter there. She has published in the American Psychological Association Bulletin, the Family Psychologist, and in the Swedenborgian publications, Chrysalis and The Messenger. Dr. Gajdos has taught at the college level, most recently for West Chester University and Wilmington College, and has served as field faculty for Vermont College of Norwich University the Union Institute's Center for Distance Learning, Cincinnati, Ohio. She has also served as consulting psychologist to the Irene Stacy Community MH/MR Center in Western Pennsylvania where she supervised psychologists in training. Currently active in disaster relief, Dr. Gajdos serves with the American Red Cross and participated in Hurricane Katrina relief efforts as a member of teams from the Department of Health and Human Services' Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Now living in Chadds Ford, in the Brandywine Valley of eastern Pennsylvania, Dr. Gajdos combines her private practice working with individuals, couples and families, with leading workshops on such topics as grief and healing, the impact of multigenerational grief and trauma shame, the shadow and self, Women Who Run with the Wolves, motherless daughters, and mediation and relaxation. Each year at Temenos Retreat Center in West Chester, PA she leads a griefs of birthing ritual for those who have suffered losses of procreation (abortions, miscarriages, infertility, etc.); she also holds yearly A Day of Re-Collection at Temenos.Dr. Gajdos holds Master's degrees in both philosophy and clinical psychology and received her Ph.D. in counseling at the University of Pittsburgh. Among her professional affiliations, she includes having been a founding member and board member of the C.G. Jung Educational Center of Pittsburgh, as well as being listed in Who's Who of American Women. Currently, she is a member of the American Psychological Association, The Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the Delaware Psychological Association, the American Family Therapy Academy, The Association for Death Education and Counseling, and the Delaware County Mental Health and Mental Retardation Board. Woven into her professional career are Dr. Gajdos' pursuits of dancing, singing, and writing poetry.