What happens when Mom leaves her 9-year-old daughter to play in a park while she works her shift at a nearby restaurant? What about leaving an 11-year-old in a car, or home alone? Does your answer change if the child is four?
Parenting is hard. When making decisions for our children, sometimes we make a bad judgment call and sometimes we feel we have no other choices available. Sometimes we simply make choices that are unpopular but in no way wrong or illegal.
I laugh when I see café signs declaring, “Unsupervised children will be given espresso and a free puppy.” I get nostalgic on crisp fall nights in October thinking of running from house to house with friends to collect candy. I groan when I see “Home Alone” re-runs around the holidays. I jump at the chance to watch “The Sandlot.” And I lament when I remember these childhood delights and fantasies are no longer the norm.
If you’re a parent like me, you’ve been anxiously taking in each new report that hits the news about children left unattended, and the unexpected legal consequences for the family. My newsfeed has exploded with stories of parents being judged not simply by their peers but by a court of law for their choices: A Connecticut mom was arrested for leaving her 11-year-old daughter alone in a car. A South Carolina single mom is facing charges of neglect for leaving her 9-year-old daughter (with a cell phone) in a nearby park to play while she was at work. Another mother plead guilty to a misdemeanor for “contributing to the delinquency of a minor” after leaving her 4-year-old to wait with his video games in the car as she grabbed an item from a convenience store. A single, homeless mother in Arizona left her kids, ages 2 and 6 months, in her car as she went to an interview-she got the job, then got arrested.
Clearly there are times when it is downright dangerous to leave a child unsupervised. Other times it’s not so clear. Some states make the choice a categorical right or wrong by designating an age limit. In Pennsylvania, it's a judgment call based on the maturity of the child and not the number of years.
Rent polls show a majority of Americans favoring criminal charges for parents who leave children under 9 or even 12 to play on their own. No longer are we debating whether it takes a village to raise a child, we’re debating how much governmental interference we support as a society.
As a parent, you should have the tools you need to be free from fear when you make choices for your children. You should have resources in place before something happens to challenge those choices. Reactionary and defensive parenting can cause heartache for a family.
So what can you do? In short, be reasonable and have a plan. Prevention and planning are the absolute best ways you can protect your family.
First, prevent a potential problem. Know your child and know your surroundings. How is your child going to behave while you are not there? Are you leaving your child at home or in a community where people know each other or are you leaving your child in a public place surrounded by strangers? Remember, time is irrelevant. It takes moments for a concerned citizen to whip out a cell phone to call 911.
Second, have a plan: Do you have guardians named for your child in the case of your temporary absence? Does your child know to tell an authority to call them if confronted? Does your child have that phone number memorized?
Knowing your rights as a parent and having a plan in place in case those rights are challenged is an empowering way to protect your family and peace of mind.
About Valerie Borek
Valerie Borek, Esq. is a Delaware County native with a passion for empowering people. She believes a strong family is a building block to strong communities. She founded her law firm to serve families with a focus on parenting and family rights. As a mother herself, she knows that parents face tough choices and need support. Valerie is grateful to be in a profession where she can guide people through life’s circumstance so they can focus on the things in life that matter most. Valerie finds her greatest motivation in helping families strengthen their health and wealth. These two foundational areas of life resonate through the day-to-day and when we feel comfortable and secure in these spheres, we are free and enabled to create and nurture the lives we desire. Visit her at www.vboreklaw.com
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