September 9, 2014

The Empowered Parent: Unsupervised children and the law

What happens when Mom leaves her 9-year-old daughter to play in a park while she works her shift at a nearby restaurant? What about leaving an 11-year-old in a car, or home alone? Does your answer change if the child is four?

Parenting is hard. When making decisions for our children, sometimes we make a bad judgment call and sometimes we feel we have no other choices available. Sometimes we simply make choices that are unpopular but in no way wrong or illegal.

I laugh when I see café signs declaring, “Unsupervised children will be given espresso and a free puppy.” I get nostalgic on crisp fall nights in October thinking of running from house to house with friends to collect candy. I groan when I see “Home Alone” re-runs around the holidays. I jump at the chance to watch “The Sandlot.” And I lament when I remember these childhood delights and fantasies are no longer the norm.

If you’re a parent like me, you’ve been anxiously taking in each new report that hits the news about children left unattended, and the unexpected legal consequences for the family. My newsfeed has exploded with stories of parents being judged not simply by their peers but by a court of law for their choices: A Connecticut mom was arrested for leaving her 11-year-old daughter alone in a car. A South Carolina single mom is facing charges of neglect for leaving her 9-year-old daughter (with a cell phone) in a nearby park to play while she was at work. Another mother plead guilty to a misdemeanor for “contributing to the delinquency of a minor” after leaving her 4-year-old to wait with his video games in the car as she grabbed an item from a convenience store. A single, homeless mother in Arizona left her kids, ages 2 and 6 months, in her car as she went to an interview-she got the job, then got arrested.

Clearly there are times when it is downright dangerous to leave a child unsupervised. Other times it’s not so clear. Some states make the choice a categorical right or wrong by designating an age limit. In Pennsylvania, it’s a judgment call based on the maturity of the child and not the number of years.

Rent polls show a majority of Americans favoring criminal charges for parents who leave children under 9 or even 12 to play on their own. No longer are we debating whether it takes a village to raise a child, we’re debating how much governmental interference we support as a society.

As a parent, you should have the tools you need to be free from fear when you make choices for your children. You should have resources in place before something happens to challenge those choices. Reactionary and defensive parenting can cause heartache for a family.

So what can you do? In short, be reasonable and have a plan. Prevention and planning are the absolute best ways you can protect your family.

First, prevent a potential problem. Know your child and know your surroundings. How is your child going to behave while you are not there? Are you leaving your child at home or in a community where people know each other or are you leaving your child in a public place surrounded by strangers? Remember, time is irrelevant. It takes moments for a concerned citizen to whip out a cell phone to call 911.

Second, have a plan: Do you have guardians named for your child in the case of your temporary absence? Does your child know to tell an authority to call them if confronted? Does your child have that phone number memorized?

Knowing your rights as a parent and having a plan in place in case those rights are challenged is an empowering way to protect your family and peace of mind.

About Valerie Borek

Valerie Borek, Esq. is a Delaware County native with a passion for empowering people. She believes a strong family is a building block to strong communities. She founded her law firm to serve families with a focus on parenting and family rights. As a mother herself, she knows that parents face tough choices and need support. Valerie is grateful to be in a profession where she can guide people through life’s circumstance so they can focus on the things in life that matter most. Valerie finds her greatest motivation in helping families strengthen their health and wealth. These two foundational areas of life resonate through the day-to-day and when we feel comfortable and secure in these spheres, we are free and enabled to create and nurture the lives we desire. Visit her at www.vboreklaw.com

The Empowered Parent: Unsupervised children and the law Read More »

Mind Matters: Psychology meets climate change

“Our nation has both an obligation and self-interest in facing head-on the serious environmental, economic, and natural security threats posed by climate change.” Those words were not spoken by former Vice President Al Gore in “An Inconvenient Truth.” They were spoken by Republican Sen. John McCain.

McCain is quoted in The Psychology of Climate Change Communication, written by Debika Shome and Sabine Marx. (See cred.columbia.edu/guide.)

So psychologists question: “Why aren’t Americans more concerned about climate change?” Unless we feel an immediate threat to our lives and lifestyles, we can easily say that “this won’t affect me, “ “that happens to somebody else,” “that’s thousands of miles away,” or “it’s not real anyway, just the usual change of weather patterns.”

We all suffer what is known as “confirmation bias,” where we seek narratives that support what we already think. We form our mental models and stick to them. Fortunately, we also have the ability to change these mental formations and to correct misinformation. Often times, we hear a person say climate change is not unanimously held and there are questions. In science, however, there are always questions and there may even be a few scientist skeptics (and those few are dwindling: Dr. Richard Muller, a skeptic funded by the Koch Brothers has left that fold of few and gives convincing evidence himself of the role of fossil fuels in the astounding increase of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.)

Former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger uses this metaphor for climate change science: “If 98 doctors say my son is ill and needs medication and two say, ‘No, he’s fine,’ I will go with the 98. … the key thing now is that since we know this industrial age has created it, let’s get our act together and do everything we can to roll it back.”

Besides accepting the evidence from numerous studies that climate change is happening and that we are its cause, we also need to reframe our notion of what that means. Climate change is not “just” an environmental issue: its impact is interwoven with health, the economy, and national security. “National security concerns deriving from climate change include the reduction of global food supplies, leading to large migrations of populations, increased risks for infectious diseases, including pandemics that could destabilize economies and governments; and increased fighting over already limited resources like water and land.”

Ah, so considering that last quote, might get us to another psychological response—emotional numbing—the overwhelm at facing what we’ve denied.

An antidote to emotional overwhelm is taking action, moving to personal change and individual responsibility. However, we don’t want to fall prey to another psychological pitfall of “single action bias.” In other words, if your climate change action is to take re-usable bags to the grocery store, don’t stop there. Recycle too. However, “… although recycling is important, it should be but one activity in a series of behavior changes aimed at reducing climate changes. Switching to wind or other renewable energies, consuming less meat, conserving daily energy use, and eating locally grown food are other effective ways to mitigate climate change. …”

It’s sometimes hard to accept the fact of climate change as a steady arc of global warming when September nights are cool and the slant of the light bodes that winter is coming. And when it snows, some commentator bloviates, “What warming?” Well, melting at “glacier speed” is no longer a metaphor for slow. The ice caps are melting. The seas are rising. We can choose to remain in confirmation bias, move to emotional overwhelm, or go a step in the right direction of “simple action bias.” Better yet, let that single step build to a long walk to a better world.

Speaking of walks, there will be a rally/walk for climate change awareness in New York City, Sept. 21—People’s Climate March

For further information, see edf.org/climatemarch
·         “The Psychology of Climate Change Communication,” cred.columbia.edu/guide.
·         yearsoflivingdangerously.com, Web site for the Showtime Networks cable subsidiary of CBS.

 

* Kayta Curzie Gajdos holds a doctorate in counseling psychology and is in private practice in Chadds Ford, Pa. She welcomes comments at MindMatters@DrGajdos.com or 610-388-2888. Past columns are posted to www.drgajdos.com.

About Kayta Gajdos

Dr. Kathleen Curzie Gajdos ("Kayta") is a licensed psychologist (Pennsylvania and Delaware) who has worked with individuals, couples, and families with a spectrum of problems. She has experience and training in the fields of alcohol and drug addictions, hypnosis, family therapy, Jungian theory, Gestalt therapy, EMDR, and bereavement. Dr. Gajdos developed a private practice in the Pittsburgh area, and was affiliated with the Family Therapy Institute of Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, having written numerous articles for the Family Therapy Newsletter there. She has published in the American Psychological Association Bulletin, the Family Psychologist, and in the Swedenborgian publications, Chrysalis and The Messenger. Dr. Gajdos has taught at the college level, most recently for West Chester University and Wilmington College, and has served as field faculty for Vermont College of Norwich University the Union Institute's Center for Distance Learning, Cincinnati, Ohio. She has also served as consulting psychologist to the Irene Stacy Community MH/MR Center in Western Pennsylvania where she supervised psychologists in training. Currently active in disaster relief, Dr. Gajdos serves with the American Red Cross and participated in Hurricane Katrina relief efforts as a member of teams from the Department of Health and Human Services' Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Now living in Chadds Ford, in the Brandywine Valley of eastern Pennsylvania, Dr. Gajdos combines her private practice working with individuals, couples and families, with leading workshops on such topics as grief and healing, the impact of multigenerational grief and trauma shame, the shadow and self, Women Who Run with the Wolves, motherless daughters, and mediation and relaxation. Each year at Temenos Retreat Center in West Chester, PA she leads a griefs of birthing ritual for those who have suffered losses of procreation (abortions, miscarriages, infertility, etc.); she also holds yearly A Day of Re-Collection at Temenos.Dr. Gajdos holds Master's degrees in both philosophy and clinical psychology and received her Ph.D. in counseling at the University of Pittsburgh. Among her professional affiliations, she includes having been a founding member and board member of the C.G. Jung Educational Center of Pittsburgh, as well as being listed in Who's Who of American Women. Currently, she is a member of the American Psychological Association, The Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the Delaware Psychological Association, the American Family Therapy Academy, The Association for Death Education and Counseling, and the Delaware County Mental Health and Mental Retardation Board. Woven into her professional career are Dr. Gajdos' pursuits of dancing, singing, and writing poetry.

Mind Matters: Psychology meets climate change Read More »

From the Rabbi’s Study: Asking good questions

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks teaches that one of the reasons that Isadore Rabi, a Nobel Prize winning physicist, entered the field of physics is that each day when he returned home from school as a child, instead of asking him what he had learned in class as his friends’ parents did, Professor Rabi’s Jewish mother inquired instead, “Izzy, did you ask a good question today?”

Judaism is a tradition that values good questions almost above all else.  As young children we ask four questions during the Passover Seder, the festive meal that we share on the first two evenings of the holiday.  As teenagers and adults we answer (seemingly) unlimited questions from our Jewish parents.  There is a cultural stereotype that the Jewish default is even to answer questions with other questions.  (Why do people think that?)

And therein lies the secret to our engagement with the world, our engagement with each other and even our engagement with God.  Declarative statements end conversations, bound relationships and bring investigation and thought to a stop.  Questions invite deeper communication, more profound mutual understanding and novel insights.

This is the lesson that is inherent in so many of our sacred texts.  In the very first verse of the Book of Genesis, the text of the Torah reads, “In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.”  (Genesis 1:1) And no sooner do we learn that famous verse than do we encounter the commentary of the preeminent 11th Century Torah scholar, Rashi, who comments, “this verse says nothing other than ‘explain me.’”  In Rashi’s reading, the text literally begs us not to take the Torah at face value and to ask questions instead.

As we continue through the Book of Genesis, our patriarch, Abraham is not afraid to question even God.  God tells Abraham about the divine plan to destroy the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah in order to root out the evil of their inhabitants and Abraham responds by asking God, “Will you sweep the innocent away with the guilty? . . . Shall not the Judge of all the earth deal justly?”  (Genesis 18:23-25)

When we encounter challenges, when we face disappointments, when the world just isn’t the way we would like it to be it’s only human nature to contract, to pull away, to come to the conclusion that it’s just too difficult to move forward. Turning to a stance of curiosity prevents us from closing off our options and enables us open us to new possibilities instead.  When we think that we’ve hit a wall, inquiry help us to find a door.

As the Jewish world prepares to begin a new year on the Hebrew calendar and as the children in our community prepare to begin a new school year, I will be inviting my community to replace the ambition to know more with a resolution to ask more.  The rabbis in the Mishna teach us that the wise person spurns arrogance and has the humility not to interrupt a friend’s words, not to reply in haste and to ask what is relevant.  (Mishna Avot 5:9)

It is my prayer that we will have the wisdom and the humility to formulate good questions over the year to come and that these questions will help us to understand each other better, help us to meet the challenges in front of us and help us to bring the world just a bit closer to reaching its sacred potential.

About Rabbi Eric M. Rosin

Rabbi Eric Rosin began his professional career as an attorney in Los Angeles serving the entertainment industry, but discovered he needed to be doing something he was passionate about. He left the practice of law and began studying for ordination at the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies in Los Angeles. After ordination, Rabbi Rosin served for two years as the assistant rabbi of Temple Beth-El in Richmond, Va., then assumed the pulpit at Kesher Israel Congregation in West Chester, Pa. in 2004.

From the Rabbi’s Study: Asking good questions Read More »

Crozer-Keystone Women and Children’s Health Services wins five year Grant from HHS

On Aug. 27, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Health Resources and Services Administration awarded a five-year Level 2 Collective Impact grant to Crozer-Keystone Health System that provides full funding for its Healthy Start program through May 31, 2019. This grant totals $5,536,966 over the next five years, and enables this well-established community program to expand its services as it works with local partners to eliminate perinatal disparities in the Chester area.

Starting in 1997, Crozer-Keystone Healthy Start was developed to address the problem of infant mortality and morbidity in Chester and its surrounding communities under the stewardship of Joanne Craig, MS, administrative director of Crozer-Keystone Women and Children’s Health Services. Through almost two decades of commitment, community outreach, local education and the ability to build critical local partnerships, Healthy Start has had a very positive impact locally. In large part due to their efforts, the infant mortality rate for southeastern Delaware County has been reduced to 15.7/1000 for black non-Hispanic, 4.3/1000 for Hispanic and 2.5/1000 for white non-Hispanic. For comparison, in 1995 the black non-Hispanic infant mortality rate was 22/1000 in southeastern Delaware County.

At the federal level, the Healthy Start program is managed by HHS’ Health Resources and Services Administration and has been redesigned to use evidence-based strategies with the goal of further improving program performance. Under this updated model, which was the basis for the recent awarding of grant funding, Crozer-Keystone Healthy Start is required to utilize new tactics and increase its outreach in the communities they serve. Listed below are the updated criteria for Crozer-Keystone Healthy Start over the next five years:

  • This program serves the southeast corner of Delaware County that includes Chester, Upland, Eddystone, Woodlyn, Parkside, Chester Township, Marcus Hook, Trainer and Linwood.
  • This program is available for pregnant women, expectant fathers, the family and children up to age two. Services include intensive outreach, engagement and recruitment of pregnant women; tiered case management based on assessed need and home visiting; education that focuses on health, parenting, early childhood development, life skills, financial literacy and management, consumer and civil legal information and leadership development. There will be a special effort to engage and recruit fathers for services.
  • Pregnant women can enroll from conception to 28 weeks (i.e. 1st and 2nd trimesters) and can continue to stay in the program until the child is two years old. Formal partnerships and agreements have been established with several local community partners to assist with services.
  • The primary office location remains Community Hospital (2600 West 9th Street, 1st Floor) and open enrollment is available Mon.-Fri. from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.  In addition, mobile enrollment opportunities will place trained case managers with OB/GYN offices, ChesPenn Health Services, Chester-Upland School District, Chichester High School and Ridley High School in the near future.
  • Transportation for this program is no longer available.

Through these expanded efforts to positively impact the local community, the federal guidelines require Crozer-Keystone Healthy Start to serve a minimum of 800 people per year, including pregnant women, postpartum women, babies and children. In addition, they must serve a minimum of 400 new pregnant women each year, which is an increase from the previous guidelines of 175 pregnant women annually.

An additional benefit of Crozer-Keystone Healthy Start includes the opportunity for more program members to receive free legal advice through the Medical-Legal Partnership that exists between Widener University School of Law and Crozer-Keystone. This unique partnership was first established in the fall of 2010, and offers an important level of resources for community members that are frequently unable to afford legal advice. Civil and consumer lawyers offer their time and talents to handle civil and consumer legal cases to help the participants and families enrolled in Healthy Start.

Joanne Craig and her dedicated staff are excited by the new challenges, and she comments, “Crozer-Keystone Healthy Start has been at the center of my department’s efforts as we have worked closely with community residents and key partners, and we are humbled by the opportunity in front of us to continue our mission of reducing infant mortality rates. This can only be accomplished through dedicated efforts within the local community, and this five year grant along with its criteria allows for a wonderful opportunity to make a real difference.”

To make an appointment with Crozer-Keystone Healthy Start, call (610) 497-7460. For more information, visit www.crozerkeystone.org, or email Joanne Craig at joanne.craig@crozer.org.

Crozer-Keystone Women and Children’s Health Services has been part of the Delaware County community for more than 20 years. On Sept. 13, they will host an Infant and Children’s Safety Fun Day from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. at Community Hospital to raise awareness about SIDS and infant mortality and morbidity. Their current programs and areas of focus include Crozer-Keystone Healthy Start, Delaware County Cribs for Kids, Hispanic Resource Center and Nurse-Family Partnership. Their work is focused on women, children and families who are dealing with high risk factors for poor maternal/birth outcomes and infant mortality/morbidity. It is rarely business as usual, so the experienced staff are experts at thinking outside the box and being creative to ensure positive results for the women and children that require their services.

 

 

Crozer-Keystone Women and Children’s Health Services wins five year Grant from HHS Read More »

Birmingham news in brief

birmingham_township• Birmingham Township supervisors are looking for volunteers to help update the township’s comprehensive plan. The Planning Commission will meet Sept. 18 and 24 to review the plan and begin work on an update. Supervisor Scott Boorse said volunteers are needed to help write the last couple of sections of the update. The goal is to have the update complete by the end of the year. The plan was last updated more than 10 years ago, according to Supervisors’ Chairman John Conklin.

• Supervisors set Monday, Nov. 3 as the date for a conditional use hearing for Infinity of West Chester. The company needs approval to modify its property. The hearing will start at 6:30 p.m.

About CFLive Staff

See Contributors Page https://chaddsfordlive.com/writers/

Birmingham news in brief Read More »

Scroll to Top