Mind Matters

Let me start 2010 with what I wrote in January, 2009 (but
never published):

The jet gliding down on to the Hudson was my return to hope.
Days before the inauguration, this landing was auspiciously metaphorical for us
all. Our country, as well as the world, seems to have lost its engines, its
power and we are taking a global nosedive – economically, spiritually, and
physically. Our destruction of our physical world (and who knows where geese
and their seeming lack of migration fits into this) gives us global warming. Economically,
greed has run us dry. Spiritually, we have the hubris to believe that God is on
“our side” against whatever “them” fits our egocentric system.

How comforting to see that instead of us all crashing like
Icarus from a grandiose flight of melting wings that tumbles us to a tragic
destiny, we instead have a human consciousness of leadership that integrates
wisdom to land us safely onto water. Okay stretch the metaphor even further. We
are stunned by this icy plunge – traumatized and wounded yet alive. The icy
water shocks us into ourselves, and helpers surround us coming quickly to our
rescue. Ferry boats, their employees and their passengers, the Coast Guard and
all the wondrous things they do all arrive to welcome our survival.

This was an actual event in time, yes. Yet I believe the
timing is significant as well. Days before a historical inauguration of
profound significance we may allow ourselves the pleasure of making this event
part of our own psychological journey into hope.

We are, the world is, wounded and stumbling and we do need
an icy plunge into the river of reality to know there is much that needs to
change if we are to bequeath this planet to our children and grandchildren. Wake
up world – the crises we have created have become our opportunities for
re-creation. We can consider the common good of all – not the few – again. We
can consider that while conflict will always be part of the human condition,
violence is not. That non-violent means to resolve conflict is the high road to
be taken. That we are not isolates each in our own little universes – we are
all connected in a web of life. Ignoring our wanton ways with the planet wounds
us all.

The icy plunge of a plane into the Hudson was our collective
wake up call. Wise leadership guided that craft to its safe landing; others who
could help saw the need and responded. Consider our new leadership with
President Obama in the White House – he has been given the task to guide us
through these difficult times; we need to respond where we can, and at the very
least we need to wake up to what has become our own icy plunge. Alive, but no
longer living the grandiosity of adolescent Icarus.

January, 2009, started with hope. We’ve had numerous
metaphorical icy plunges since then, both in our personal lives, and in the
world.So, what do I hope for in 2010?

One, recognize that disagreements and conflict are a part of
life at every level from the individual to the family to the world. Yet, also
recognize that dialogue and understanding, rather than violence and revenge and
retaliation, are the tools we need to settle our differences.

Two, look for our heroes and heroines in all the right
places. Do look to those large figures such as Nelson Mandela (I recommend the
movie, Invictus), who prod us to find our own greatness. Then indeed note your
greatness and that of the invisible hero next to you. What isn’t heroic about
the consistent care of a nursing assistant who wipes bottoms and then some? Or
the cleaning crew for the turnpike bathroom? Or the trash collector? Consider
how life would be without the heroics of the everyday? Forget the “reality”
shows. Forget the addiction to superficial celebrity. They are meant to
distract us from the real life of putting one foot in front of the other and
carrying on.

As the Buddhists say, what do you do before Enlightenment?
“Chop wood, carry water.” What do you do after enlightenment? “Chop wood, carry
water.” In other words, we are not transported to another realm, we just manage
to see better what is already here, life now to be lived and loved.

* Kayta Curzie Gajdos holds a doctorate in
counseling psychology and is in private practice in Chadds Ford, Pennsylvania.
She welcomes comments at MindMatters@DrGajdos.com
or 610-388-2888. Past columns are posted to www.drgajdos.com

About Kayta Gajdos

Dr. Kathleen Curzie Gajdos ("Kayta") is a licensed psychologist (Pennsylvania and Delaware) who has worked with individuals, couples, and families with a spectrum of problems. She has experience and training in the fields of alcohol and drug addictions, hypnosis, family therapy, Jungian theory, Gestalt therapy, EMDR, and bereavement. Dr. Gajdos developed a private practice in the Pittsburgh area, and was affiliated with the Family Therapy Institute of Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, having written numerous articles for the Family Therapy Newsletter there. She has published in the American Psychological Association Bulletin, the Family Psychologist, and in the Swedenborgian publications, Chrysalis and The Messenger. Dr. Gajdos has taught at the college level, most recently for West Chester University and Wilmington College, and has served as field faculty for Vermont College of Norwich University the Union Institute's Center for Distance Learning, Cincinnati, Ohio. She has also served as consulting psychologist to the Irene Stacy Community MH/MR Center in Western Pennsylvania where she supervised psychologists in training. Currently active in disaster relief, Dr. Gajdos serves with the American Red Cross and participated in Hurricane Katrina relief efforts as a member of teams from the Department of Health and Human Services' Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Now living in Chadds Ford, in the Brandywine Valley of eastern Pennsylvania, Dr. Gajdos combines her private practice working with individuals, couples and families, with leading workshops on such topics as grief and healing, the impact of multigenerational grief and trauma shame, the shadow and self, Women Who Run with the Wolves, motherless daughters, and mediation and relaxation. Each year at Temenos Retreat Center in West Chester, PA she leads a griefs of birthing ritual for those who have suffered losses of procreation (abortions, miscarriages, infertility, etc.); she also holds yearly A Day of Re-Collection at Temenos.Dr. Gajdos holds Master's degrees in both philosophy and clinical psychology and received her Ph.D. in counseling at the University of Pittsburgh. Among her professional affiliations, she includes having been a founding member and board member of the C.G. Jung Educational Center of Pittsburgh, as well as being listed in Who's Who of American Women. Currently, she is a member of the American Psychological Association, The Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the Delaware Psychological Association, the American Family Therapy Academy, The Association for Death Education and Counseling, and the Delaware County Mental Health and Mental Retardation Board. Woven into her professional career are Dr. Gajdos' pursuits of dancing, singing, and writing poetry.