December 19, 2012 - ChaddsFordLive.com

James Edward “Jim” Phreaner of Birmingham Township

James Edward “Jim” Phreaner, 64, died suddenly in his Birmingham Township home on Dec.17. Jim was a devoted husband, son, father, friend, and neighbor. Jim had recently retired from a 41 year career as an IRS agent, much of which was spent performing large corporate audits in Wilmington. In recent years, he devoted his time to family and extensive volunteer work in his community.

Jim was born in 1948 in Darby, to William Phreaner and Gladys (nee Screeden) Phreaner, the younger brother to Robert Phreaner. Jim was a football and track and field athlete, and graduated from Springfield High School and Widener University, where he earned a degree in accounting.

Jim had a long-standing interest in athletics, and competed in multiple marathons and triathlons. He served on the board of the YMCA in Delaware, where he met his wife Linda (nee Mims). The two married in 1985 and enjoyed a 27-year marriage and two daughters, Julie and Melissa.

Jim was known as a friendly and devoted friend and neighbor, often going door-to-door to plow after snowstorms. He was an actively involved in the Birmingham Township Recreation Parks and Open Space Committee and the Birmingham Friends Meeting, where he was involved in religious education. During the summers, he liked to spend his days swimming laps at the Quarry Swim Club, where he served on the board for several years. He spent each Saturday visiting his mother in her retirement home. During his retirement, he started reporting for the Chadds Ford Live online news site.

Jim is survived by his mother Gladys, brother Robert, wife Linda, and daughters, Julie and Melissa.

His Memorial Meeting for Worship will be at 1 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 22, at the Birmingham Friends Meeting, 1245 Birmingham Road, West Chester. Burial will be private.

In memory of Jim, a contribution may be made to Oxfam America, 226 Causeway Street, 5^th Fl., Boston, MA 02114 or donate online http://www.oxfamamerica.org/tribute

Online condolences may be made by visiting www.griecocares.com

Arrangements by the Kuzo & Grieco Funeral Home, Kennett Square, PA.

About CFLive Staff

See Contributors Page https://chaddsfordlive.com/writers/

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Mind Matters—In the Aftermath of National Tragedy

Health

Cardboard boxes, emptied of the ornaments they held, stay strewn around the Christmas tree as I write this: the memorabilia of forty plus years join new LED lights to mark the “season merry and bright.”

Not so. Christmas is always the push of Light against and into the Darkness. The national tragedy of the deaths of twenty children and seven adults in the Newtown, Connecticut, elementary school is a grim reminder of this.

In our collective grief, perhaps we can also have compassion for the innocent children who are killed in drone attacks in Pakistan or on the streets of Camden, Philadelphia, Chicago, Wilmington. The anonymity of these children doesn’t diminish the significance of their deaths. In all these cases, the bottom line is violence and the disregard for the pricelessness of human life.

That said, how do we face the traumatic grief on an individual and collective level?

It can help to talk to others and share feelings and experiences. Be aware of and honor the feelings that arise. Some of us may become edgy, others fatigued. Some of us find ourselves crying and feeling sad, others may feel angry or fearful. In addition to recognizing our feelings, we need to find healthy outlets for them. What works to de-stress and relax?

It does help to exercise or even to take a ten minute walk. Some people find a warm bath soothing, or writing a worry list that gets the internal chatter out of the head and onto paper.

While our human bodies are fragile and life turns to death in an instant, the human spirit is amazingly resilient. We can keep this in mind when we address the responses of our children in the wake of tragedy. Parents, caregivers, and teachers can be supportive by making sure children feel connected, cared about, and loved. We need to listen to children and allow them to express their feelings, letting them know it’s okay to have their feelings. We also can allow children to ask questions.

Mister Rogers once remarked that when he was a child his mother would note whenever there was some tragic incident to look for the helpers. We can heed this advice and point out to our children to look for the people who are performing acts of kindness and are helping. This also gives role models to children for how they can act.

Adults can help children see that they are not to blame when bad things happen. Often children may enact “magical thinking”—“I wished something, there it happened.” Do you remember, “Step on a crack, break your mother’s back?”

Another way we help our kids is to not engender violent acts ourselves. While we can express our feelings, screaming and hitting or kicking walls, for example, frightens children all the more.

What is best for our children is what is best for ourselves. When we take care of our physical and emotional health, we provide role models for our children as well as providing an emotionally and physically safe environment.

As for the link between mental illness and violence, there is virtually none. The vast majority of people with mental illness are not violent, and “people with psychiatric disabilities are far more likely to be victims than perpetrators of violent crime.” (Washington.edu reference below.)

May we, in this season of Light against the Dark, find loving connection. For it has been said, “The beauty that will save the world is the love that shares the pain.” (Cardinal Martini)

This column used the following resources:

– http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/mass-shooting.aspx

– http://www.savethechildren.org

– http://www.samhsa.gov

(Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (877)SAMHSA-7)

– http://depts.washington.edu/mhreport/facts_violence.php

Kayta Curzie Gajdos holds a doctorate in counseling psychology and is in private practice in Chadds Ford, Pennsylvania. She welcomes comments at MindMatters@DrGajdos.com or (610)388-2888. Past columns are posted to www.drgajdos.com.

About Kayta Gajdos

Dr. Kathleen Curzie Gajdos ("Kayta") is a licensed psychologist (Pennsylvania and Delaware) who has worked with individuals, couples, and families with a spectrum of problems. She has experience and training in the fields of alcohol and drug addictions, hypnosis, family therapy, Jungian theory, Gestalt therapy, EMDR, and bereavement. Dr. Gajdos developed a private practice in the Pittsburgh area, and was affiliated with the Family Therapy Institute of Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, having written numerous articles for the Family Therapy Newsletter there. She has published in the American Psychological Association Bulletin, the Family Psychologist, and in the Swedenborgian publications, Chrysalis and The Messenger. Dr. Gajdos has taught at the college level, most recently for West Chester University and Wilmington College, and has served as field faculty for Vermont College of Norwich University the Union Institute's Center for Distance Learning, Cincinnati, Ohio. She has also served as consulting psychologist to the Irene Stacy Community MH/MR Center in Western Pennsylvania where she supervised psychologists in training. Currently active in disaster relief, Dr. Gajdos serves with the American Red Cross and participated in Hurricane Katrina relief efforts as a member of teams from the Department of Health and Human Services' Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Now living in Chadds Ford, in the Brandywine Valley of eastern Pennsylvania, Dr. Gajdos combines her private practice working with individuals, couples and families, with leading workshops on such topics as grief and healing, the impact of multigenerational grief and trauma shame, the shadow and self, Women Who Run with the Wolves, motherless daughters, and mediation and relaxation. Each year at Temenos Retreat Center in West Chester, PA she leads a griefs of birthing ritual for those who have suffered losses of procreation (abortions, miscarriages, infertility, etc.); she also holds yearly A Day of Re-Collection at Temenos.Dr. Gajdos holds Master's degrees in both philosophy and clinical psychology and received her Ph.D. in counseling at the University of Pittsburgh. Among her professional affiliations, she includes having been a founding member and board member of the C.G. Jung Educational Center of Pittsburgh, as well as being listed in Who's Who of American Women. Currently, she is a member of the American Psychological Association, The Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the Delaware Psychological Association, the American Family Therapy Academy, The Association for Death Education and Counseling, and the Delaware County Mental Health and Mental Retardation Board. Woven into her professional career are Dr. Gajdos' pursuits of dancing, singing, and writing poetry.

Mind Matters—In the Aftermath of National Tragedy Read More »

Local Loss in the Aftermath

Along the Ford

It is with great sadness we announce the loss of our friend and colleague Jim Phreaner. Jim died suddenly at his home on Monday with his wife, Linda, at his side.

Jim started writing for Chadds Ford Live as part of his retirement life after a career with the IRS. He chose to join our staff because of his love of his community and his life long dedication to service.

Whatever the organization, the Quarry Swim Club, Birmingham Township Open Space Committee, Birmingham Friends Meeting, Jim’s contributions were numerous and cheerfully given.

We will miss his stories, his smile and propensity to leave everyone and everything he came across a little better for the encounter.

Thoughts shared by Jim’s friends:

“Losing Jim is heart breaking. He was sunshine for all of us.” Berdelle Wishart

“What a lovely tribute to a lovely man. I’ve hung a “snipshot” of your shared photo on my office wall. He did much of his IRS work at AstraZeneca, and it was always a happy day for me when our paths crossed on campus.” Judy Butler

“This is just so sad. ” Amy Brooks

“We really enjoyed the many meetings we shared together, his wit and warmth shone through time after time and he was truly a delight to have as a colleague……Jim will be sorely missed, certainly professionally, but for me, personally as he so often brightened my day.” Mike McGann

“We liked Jim so very much, he was always super friendly and upbeat.

Please give our condolences to his wife.” Carolyn Templin

“So sorry to hear about the sudden death of Jim Phreaner. He was such a kind and friendly person.” Diana Connor

“I feel so saddened for Jim’s family. He was such a joyful person even when there were difficulties and so many people relied on him. He was a very good Friend to Birmingham Meeting in a myriad of ways. ” Serita Spadoni

If you would like to add your comments and memories of Jim send then to business@chaddsfordlive.com

Click here to see obituary

About Emily Myers

Emily Myers has lived and worked in Chadds Ford for over thirty five years. She founded the parent company of Chadds Ford Live, Decision Design Research, Inc., in 1982. ChaddsFordLive.com represents the confluence of Myers' long time, deep involvement in technology and community. Myers was a founding member of the Chadds Ford Business Association and currently serves on its board of directors. Her hobbies include bridge, golf, photography and Tai Chi. She lives with her husband, Jim Lebedda, in Chadds Ford Township.

Local Loss in the Aftermath Read More »

Supervisors told Chadds Ford lost $740K in revenue

Local News

Former Chadds Ford tax collector Bruce Prabel last week told supervisors that the township has lost more than $740,000 in revenue since 2007. He said the loss stems from a failure to properly collect two business related taxes.

Prabel pointed the finger at Berkheimer Associates, the company contracted to collect the Local Service and Business Privilege taxes when they were initiated in 2007.

“I believe this is a crisis,” Prabel said while making a two-hour presentation during a special meeting on Dec. 13.

The BPT is a tax on $100 per year for every business with a physical presence in the township. The LST is a tax of $1 per week, or $52 per year, on people making more than $12,000 per year employed by businesses in the township. There is an exception for people who are paying property taxes in Chadds Ford.

Prabel cited six categories where Berkheimer either collected only one of the two taxes, or failed to collect both.

Using what he said were Berkheimer’s own lists, he said the company collected the LST from employees of 250 businesses, but only collected the BPT from 150 businesses.

He said it appeared that Endo Pharmaceutical’s 500 employees were billed for the LST, but Endo was not charged the BPT, while Carrabba’s Restaurant paid the business tax, but the local service tax was never collected from its employees. DNB First and Jimmy John’s were also not charged the Business Privilege Tax, he said.

By his calculation — using 5.5 employees per business — Prabel said that discrepancy alone cost the township more than $210,000 since the township enacted the taxes.

He continued by comparing the Certificates of Occupancy and permits that were issued for businesses during that same 2007-2012 period with the Berkheimer lists. A discrepancy there, he said, cost the township more than $127,000.

Prabel also considered rental properties. Property owners who rent out apartments or homes for more than $15,000 per year are also liable for the BPT. Those owners of 116 properties weren’t charged and that cost the township almost $70,000, he said.

The biggest discrepancy, by Prabel’s calculation, came from a physical examination of business properties in the township. During a drive through the township he noticed there were 132 businesses — among them several long-standing and well-known businesses in the township such as Leader Sunoco, McDonald’s, Arby’s, Garnet Ford and AMC Theater — that weren’t showing on the tax collecting agency’s list.

That alone cost the township more than $305,000. Another $35,000 in Business Privilege and Local Service taxes were not collected from several Chadds Ford Business Association members, he said.

Prabel acknowledged that he might have miscounted some of the businesses, but not by much.

While Prabel said the problem was with Berkheimer, Ruth Ellen Duncan, a Chadds Ford resident and owner of The Strawberry Sampler, asked whether or not it was up to the township to provide a list of businesses for the collecting agency.

Prabel said it was.

Samantha Reiner of Webb Road supported his assertion. Reiner, the township manager for Edgmont Township, said the contract with Berkheimer says it’s the township’s responsibility to provide a proper business census.

A day after the meeting, a representative from the Berkheimer office collecting the taxes for Chadds Ford also said that townships usually provide a list of businesses and copies of any new business COs and permits.

Only one supervisor made any comment during the presentation.

Keith Klaver thanked Prabel for the work he did, but added that he didn’t want people to get the wrong impression of businesses that didn’t pay the taxes.

“It wasn’t their fault,” Klaver said. “It’s inappropriate to think businesses weren’t doing their job.”

In November of this year, supervisors voted to contract with a different company, Keystone Associates, to collect the business related taxes.

“We moved to Keystone for better service,” Klaver said.

Prabel made several suggestions at the end of the presentation, saying he wanted the township to come up with a master list of businesses and to see if there is a legal avenue to pursue collecting back taxes. He added, though, that the businesses should not be charged any penalties.

Supervisors took no action. Solicitor Hugh Donaghue said they would first discuss the matter in executive session because of possible legal action to get back taxes.

About Rich Schwartzman

Rich Schwartzman has been reporting on events in the greater Chadds Ford area since September 2001 when he became the founding editor of The Chadds Ford Post. In April 2009 he became managing editor of ChaddsFordLive. He is also an award-winning photographer.

Supervisors told Chadds Ford lost $740K in revenue Read More »

Police log Dec. 20

Police

• A Chadds Ford man had money stolen from an account and wired to another that was fraudulently opened in his name. The second account was then emptied of all money, police said. The theft happened sometime between Oct. 8 and Nov. 23.

• State police allege that Amber Reneen Dowling, 19, of Philadelphia, stole from the Target store in Concord Township. According to a report, Dowling conducted a number of transactions where she would load up Target gift cards but not put any money in the register. She would then take the cards for herself, police said. She was arrested, arraigned and taken to Delaware County Prison.

About CFLive Staff

See Contributors Page https://chaddsfordlive.com/writers/

Police log Dec. 20 Read More »

Around Town Dec. 20

Along the Ford

• Work has started on the Harvey Run Trail that will connect the Brandywine River Museum and Conservancy with Chadds Ford Township property. Township Open Space Committee Chairman Deb Reardon said there’s no firm completion date yet, but she’s hoping people will be able to use it by the beginning of summer.

• Effective Monday, Dec. 17, state Rep. Stephen E. Barrar, R-160, moved his district office to One Beaver Valley Road (at the intersection of Route 202 and Naamans Creek Road), in Concord Township. The phone number is 610-358-5925.
“Residents will be very pleased with our more centrally located new office,” said Barrar. “No matter where we are located, my staff and I will always be dedicated to serving the people of the 160th District and assisting them with all their state government needs.”

• Nutrition Retreat, in the Summit Crossing shopping center is holding a Weight Loss Challenge beginning Jan. 9. The cost is $39 to join. Phone Jen Moore at 610-476-6030, or e-mail vmoore@morimprovements.com for more information.

About CFLive Staff

See Contributors Page https://chaddsfordlive.com/writers/

Around Town Dec. 20 Read More »

Photo of the Week: Pennsbury Mill:

Photo of the Week

The Pennsbury hydroelectric mill off of Fairville Road sits in sunshine on a late autumn morning. The mill no longer produces electricity on a regular basis, but it has served as a classroom for elementary school students.

About Rich Schwartzman

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Random-Lee: I’m sorry dad

Along the Ford

Last week marked the third anniversary of my father’s death and I feel sadder today than I did three years ago when he died at 89. Not because I miss him more with the passing of time but because I think I finally started to have an emotional bond with him this year, long after any possibility of sharing my new insights with him or changing my past relationship with him.

I can’t remember ever being emotionally attached to my dad. He was a typical man of his generation. He did not do things with “the girls.” My sister and I were my mother’s charge. She taught us to hang out laundry, clean bathrooms, wax the kitchen floor, take care of a household. Dad was in charge of the boys. Little league, midget football, cutting the grass, washing the car on Saturdays and taking out the trash every night after dinner were his — while the girls did the dishes. It was pretty cut and dried. He was the sole wage earner and we respected him, but I don’t recall any love feelings, and certainly no one ever called me “daddy’s little girl.”

When I went away to college, I called my mother weekly and wrote letters to my grandmother and cousins, but I never thought much about my dad. It perplexed me when I heard other young women talking about their dad as their “best friend.” Later, when I graduated and married someone from a totally different background, someone with a much broader perspective who had lived and travelled around the world, I began to look down on my dad’s humble roots from first generation immigrant parents and a dusty coal mining town in western Pennsylvania.

For the next three decades I felt he didn’t fit into our life. He wasn’t used to fancy restaurants and only ordered steak well done. He drank Miller Lite or Corona with a lime and didn’t know the difference between a Bordeaux and a Burgundy and he sure hadn’t travelled to many exotic Caribbean islands. All dad could talk about was football, JoePa (former Penn State football coach Joe Pagterno), and his local Italian Club, not everyday subjects of conversation at our house. So we didn’t invite him often. Didn’t introduce him to our friends for fear he would embarrass us. By not inviting him into our life, I somehow wrote him out of it — though I persisted in telling anyone who would listen that family was my top priority.

I’m not sure when things began to change; I just remember one day last summer when I was working in the tiny yard of our new downsized retirement house. This one didn’t come with a cleaning lady or gardener. Here I was, for the first time in 30 years, out in the yard, getting ready to weed and trim and cut the grass, super excited and so proud to be doing this “real” work and taking care of my new home. When my husband rolled over the brand new electric lawn mower – the first we had ever owned – and offered to show me how to use it, my automatic reaction was “Of course I know how to use it. My dad taught me when I was a kid…”

And then the memories came rushing in. Of this happy man who spent every evening after work and every weekend mowing and watering and washing cars and cleaning the garage, never complaining, so proud to be taking care of his home and family – in the only way he knew how. Of the good man who worked every day of his life for the same company, the only child who turned down promotion after promotion to stay in the area and take care of his elderly parents; the hard-working son of a coal miner who fought his way out and earned an engineering degree, not only the first in his family but the first in his town; the good citizen who fought for his country; the good husband who supported his family single handedly so that mom could stay at home and take care of us, and who put all four kids through college (never burdening us with college loans). And a father who never said “I love you” because he simply did not know how.

I don’t know how I missed it for so long. But in that one moment of bonding over something as simple as yard work, I realized how wrong I have been all these years. So today, I want to thank my dad for showing me how to cut the grass, clean the garage, wash the car, be a good family person. He may not have travelled far, but he did all the right things.

* Lee Miller welcomes responses. Please email them to leemiller229@gmail.com

About Lee Miller

Lee Miller began her writing career with four books about Pennsylvania/east coast wines and the creation of Wine East magazine. She then went on to found the Chaddsford Winery with her husband Eric, where she turned her pen to promotion, advertising, public relations and marketing of their successful business venture for 30 years. Last year Lee co-wrote the new wine book, “The Vintner’s Apprentice” with Eric, and retired from the Chaddsford Winery to pursue other interests. She is currently working on a book about her life in the wine industry and exploring the retirement life. Her goal in writing a column for Chadds Ford Live is to generate dialogue and elicit reader response.

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Longwood Gardens announces rehabilitation of main fountain garden

Arts & Entertainment

main fountain longwood gardens — Longwood Gardens announces rehabilitation of main fountain garden

Longwood Gardens today announced that is has commissioned the New York firm of Beyer Blinder Belle Architects & Planners to lead the rehabilitation of the Main Fountain Garden. The restoration of this early 20^th-century hydraulic masterpiece represents an integral part of a forty-year master planning initiative for what is considered one of the great gardens of the world.

“We are enthusiastic in our selection of Beyer Blinder Belle, a firm widely-recognized for its stewardship of buildings and sites of cultural heritage,” said Paul Redman, director of Longwood Gardens. “Over the course of the past 40 years, they have worked with many prestigious public institutions and historic sites, including Grand Central Terminal and at Lincoln Center, and we are confident they will bring to our project the same creativity and rigor that contributed to the successful restoration of these iconic landscapes.”

“We are honored to be entrusted with the restoration of the Main Foundation Garden, arguably the masterpiece of Longwood Gardens, which has awed and delighted millions of guests for decades,” commented Richard Southwick, Partner-in-Charge at Beyer Blinder Belle. “Our aim is to restore and recreate the fountains in a manner that respects Pierre du Pont’s original design intent and preserves the garden’s authenticity for generations to enjoy.”

Longwood Gardens, an exquisite horticultural showplace, is the legacy and life-long project of Pierre S. du Pont (1870-1954), a descendant of E. I. du Pont and heir to the du Pont family gunpowder works. In the early 20^th century, Pierre successfully transformed the family business into a corporate empire and used a portion of the resulting fortune to develop the Longwood property. Since its founding in 1906, Longwood Gardens has matured into a magnificent botanical landscape that provides visitors with countless opportunities for enjoyment and learning throughout the seasons.

Inspired by the 1893 World Columbian Exhibition and Italian and French gardens, the Main Fountain Garden was completed in the mid-1930s and is the centerpiece of Longwood Gardens’ water features. Over the course of it 81-year history, it has continuously evolved to reflect the changing ambitions of its founder and subsequent stewards, and to respond to new technical challenges and opportunities. From an elegant yet more traditional landscape and water design, the garden grew to incorporate alleés of trees, specimen plantings, Florentine limestone sculptures and ultimately, elaborately staged light and fountain displays.

The rehabilitation of the Main Fountain Garden will focus on four important design issues: preservation of the legacy of Pierre S. du Pont’s original design; restoration of the architectural and structural components of the Main Fountain Garden; repair and improvements to the mechanical and electrical systems; and enhancements to the planting and fountains of the garden.

In developing and directing the rehabilitation plan, Beyer Blinder Belle will work with a team of experts, including fountain specialists Fluidity Design Consultants of Los Angeles and urban design and landscape architecture firm West 8 of New York.

Founded in 1968, Beyer Blinder Belle Architects & Planners is a collaborative international practice of 130 professionals in New York City and Washington, DC, with recognized expertise in architecture, historic preservation, interior design, urban design and planning.

The firm has been responsible for the restoration and revitalization of many significant buildings and sites, including Grand Central Terminal, Ellis Island Museum of Immigration, the fountains and plaza at Rockefeller Center, the Rubin Museum of Art, and The Morgan Library & Museum (with RPBW). Recent work includes restoration of the TWA Flight Center at JFK International Airport, rehabilitation of the Hoboken Ferry Terminal and renovation of the Lincoln Center Fountain and Promenade.

Beyer Blinder Belle has been recognized with three Presidential Design Awards, the Medal of Honor from the AIA New York Chapter, the national AIA Firm Award, and over 100 other awards for design and planning.

About Press Release

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