By Jeanne-Marie Curtis

Dear Jeanne-Marie,

I have suffered so many losses in my life that I just do not know where to turn. How can I get past all of this pain?

Signed,
Nowhere Man

Dear Nowhere Man,

Some people are in your life for a reason, some for a season.

Signed,
Jeanne-Marie

In My Experience

Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes. Some losses I fought kicking and screaming, some had me cry myself to sleep for weeks, but mostly I just stoically put one foot in front of the other and kept going.

Lately, however, I have spent much time remembering the past:

The first day I held my daughter. Hearing, “I love you Mommy”.
Snuggling while reading bedtime stories.
Waiting for Santa and the Easter bunny.
‘Camping’ under blankets in the living room.
Picnics in the car outside McDonalds.
Elementary, middle, high school.
Girl scouts, Disney World, softball, concerts, marching band, color guard, dances, and sleepovers.
Then…boyfriends and college visits.

Overnight she went from her first tricycle to her driver’s license.

Although I, too, have suffered the loss and pain of both parents dying, the insignificance of material things, the betrayal of friends and family, and the surprise of aging, nothing prepared me for my child growing up and becoming a strong, independent woman who really does not need me anymore.

Yes, I know this is the goal of all parents but you are never prepared for how it feels.

As a single mom raising a daughter alone, there is always the risk that she will feel responsible for me and not develop a full, happy, adult life for herself.  I do not want this to happen. So why does if hurt so much as I face the fact that this is her last year with me in our home?

Each event at school, with friends or family, will be the last time. There were so many events; what will I do with myself when she has left for college?

Will I be one of those parents that keep her room a ‘shrine’?

Will I hoard everything that represents the past?

No.

I will be grateful for all that we had and all that we did.

I will take a break, rest, and renew.

Then I will begin the next chapter of a really great story…mine.

Dear Readers,

Summer is here and my daughter and I will be traveling to visit family and colleges. If you would like to see In My Experience return in the fall, please comment below.  Thank you.

*Jeanne-Marie Curtis came from Philadelphia to Chadds Ford Township in 1990. She has her BBA in HR Management/Employment Law. She is the author of Junctions by Jeanne-Marie (Every Woman’s Journey and Journal) a gift book available at ChaddsFordLive.com To order, click Products/Books.

*To submit a question: email Jeanne-Marie at junctionsbyjm@aol.com