October 22, 2009

Opposites attract, so it is said. But to look at our culture
with all the polarizing opposites, that maxim may not apply. Or if it does, it
is not an attractice picture.

How is it that a 6-year-old boy is disciplined harshly when
he brings his cub scout camping utensil—knife, fork, spoon combination—to show
off at lunch, yet adults can be in the vicinity of the President with massive
weaponry in hand, with no consequences?

Our opposite ways of being seem to be based on fear. Draconian
rules are cemented into place in our schools after such tragic killings as
Columbine. We think we are protecting ourselves and our children by such
extreme measures. In fact, we are doing the opposite. We are not acting
judiciously but reacting out of fear. Maybe it is high time to ask ourselves
what is at the root of all this? What are we doing? What are we thinking? Or
maybe we’re not thinking?

I remember myself as a 6-year-old in first grade, standing
in line at dismissal and subvocalizing (that is, whispering to myself under my
breath), “I could hit Sister—for giving us so much homework!” Little Gracie, in
front of me, hears me and runs up to the teacher, “Sister, Sister, Kathy wants
to cut your head off!” Misquoted even at this early age, I am dragged to the
principal’s office whereupon Sister Prudentia pulls out a knife from her desk
drawer and places it at my throat, saying, “How would you like your head cut
off?” By this point, I am sobbing and so I am further warned to “stop crying”.
Swallow your tears, I am advised.

Because I was so afraid and felt so shamed, when I got home
I did not report to my parents what happened. Instead, I kept choking on my
feelings and had terrible nightmares for awhile. Fortunately, my mother somehow
sleuthed out what had occurred and confronted the perverted principal in no
uncertain terms. My reward for having undergone this trama was to be allowed to
wear a gown in the May procession that honored the Blessed Mother.

Ah, yes, please note that Sister Prudentia was extremely
devout—she exuded the picture of piety. In psychological terms, that’s defined
as splitting. We see it all the time in famous people—politicians and religious
celebrities. When the tension of the opposites that is innate in all of us is
not integrated, held together, the parts of the self get split off, dis-owned.
We then live out the story of Dr Jekyl and Mr. Hyde.

Trouble is we live in a Jekyll-Hyde culture that is split
off, dis-owned also. And so innocent 6-year-olds are punished and adult
wannabees brandish weapons.

Kayta Curzie Gajdos holds a doctorate in counseling
psychology and is in private practice in Chadds Ford, Pennsylvania. She
welcomes comments at MindMatters@DrGajdos.com
or (610)388-2888. Past columns are posted to http://www.DrGajdos.com/Articles.

 

Quick
now – think of someone synonymous with Brandywine Valley art – someone who has
been with us since 1976 and has quietly given voice, venue and direction to art
of the Brandywine Valley.

Kuerner,
Scarborough, Sculthorpe?

No,
think pretty, think sparkly.

Barbara
Moore has been director of the Chadds Ford Gallery on Route 1 since 1976.

Born
in Portland, Maine, Moore credits her mother with inspiring her to be a leader.

“Mother
was a survivor” she explained. “When my mother and father divorced, she was
left with three kids to support.”

This
inspiration was something Barbara would need years later when faced with her
own divorce, something she called her “on the job training”.

“Divorce
makes you learn a lot in a hurry when you have to support yourself. I had three
kids to feed and eight acres of grass to mow.”

But
Barbara’s journey to the Chadds Ford Gallery was rather serendipitous.

She
had started in business writing estimates for her former husband who was in the
auto body business. This included working on antique and classic cars.

One
of their clients happened to be Andrew Wyeth.

It
was at the time Wyeth was mounting his first exhibit at the Delaware Art Museum
and Barbara started to learn as she says, “how to make a collectable out of a piece
of paper”.

In
addition she began to really learn about art.

Now,
Barbara says, she can even tell which Brandywine artists paint from
photographs, because you can see the curvature of the lens in their painting.

“You
have to ‘see’ what you are painting” she explained, and credits artist Paul
Scarborough with teaching her to see like an artist.  

In
the 33 years she has been at the gallery, Barbara has watched many local
artists like Scarborough, Karl Kuerner and Judy Antonelli come into their own.

“I
call them ‘my babies’ because you have to guide them a little into what the
public likes”

Barbara
believes Kuerner’s art took a giant leap forward when he switched from oils
into acrylics, and saw Judy Antonelli’s style change after her first trip to
Italy.  

In
addition she noted that Peter Sculthorpe’s style has already been imitated by
many aspiring artists.

 Her proudest accomplishment though has
been the creation of “The Christmas in Miniature” show, which traditionally
opens the first Wednesday in December.

“We
have 60 artists who bring 10 paintings” she said.

“The
artists come down in price and the gallery comes in down in commission.”

Barbara
said the public was “amazed and dazed” at the first Miniatures show.

As
soon as one piece was purchased she would go upstairs and replace it with
another.

Another
of Barbara’s innovations at the gallery, through Dec. 27 is “Sunday with the
Artist.” Scarborough will open the series this Sunday and will demonstrate his
painting technique to the public from 1-3 p.m.  

Asked
who might take over as the leader of the Brandywine tradition since Andrew
Wyeth’s death, she answered,

“We
have not seen all that Jamie Wyeth has done. He has the ability to step outside
the medium of paint and will use almost anything to get the texture he wants.”

Barbara
loves Chadds Ford and said it is, “… a little like the bar in ‘Cheers’ – where
everybody knows you name.”