Mind Matters: From cemetery to science

Now that I've moved to Massachusetts, I miss the blues and purples of the Siberian squill and glory of the snow that carpet the forest of Winterthur. So, I come to the Mount Auburn Cemetery in Cambridge to look for nature’s beauty among the dead, whose remains rest there.

I can see Boston’s Prudential Center as well as Sanders Theatre in Harvard Square. It’s a different walking experience from Winterthur or Longwood because I hear the almost white noise of constant traffic in the distance — maybe I could pretend it’s the ocean humming. Of course, the biggest difference is the tombstones that blossom beneath the stately pines, cedars, and sycamores.

It is indeed a reflection on the transience of life, but also how important the dead remain to the living. I sit by one memorial that commemorates the death of a 17-year-old Harvard student who took ill and died in 1833. His remains, the memorial notes, are buried in Baltimore, Md., in a family plot. I consider that his parents, who were then so burdened with grief, have long since died. But the remembrance of their son’s “piety, talents, great industry, gentle and graceful manners” lives on, etched in granite.

Many of the memorials honor the short lives of infants and children. Before antibiotics and other advances in medicine, infants and children could die from any number of illnesses. Their families are no longer suffering the pain of their loss but the statues of children, lambs, or angels remind us of their sadness that once was palpable.

Yes, walking through Mt. Auburn reminds us of our own mortality and how fragile life is. However, it also makes me think of how grateful I am for the science and research that has made life — quite frankly — more livable. I remember my mother’s fears about infant mortality before the advent of penicillin. I remember how polio had stricken my godmother when she was a toddler and how grateful I was as a 9-year-old to get that sugar cube that was the polio vaccine.

Science and medical research is never done because the pursuit of knowledge is unending. Odd how walking in a revered cemetery can bring me round to thinking about life. Surely those parents who buried their children or the husbands of those mothers who died in childbirth would have preferred to live in a time when antibiotics, vaccines, and 21st-century surgery were available — and accessible — to everyone.

On April 22, there will be across the country Rallies and Marches for Science. (See marchforscience.com.) We are at a critical moment of history when we as a nation are wavering in our respect for scientific and medical research. We are wavering in our acceptance of the need for health care for all.

We have to remember how far we have come and choose to continue to go forward, not backward. Without the advances in scientific and medical research that we have already made, where would we be? No, such research won’t make us immortal, but it has given a better life to us mortals.

* Kayta Curzie Gajdos holds a doctorate in counseling psychology and is in private practice in Belmont, Massachusetts. She welcomes comments at [email protected] or 610-388-2888. Past columns are posted to www.drgajdos.com. See book.quietwisdom-loudtimes.com for information about her book, “Quiet Wisdom in Loud Times: The Rise of the Wounded Feminine.”

** The opinions expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the ownership or management of Chadds Ford Live. We welcome opposing viewpoints. Readers may comment in the comments section or they may submit a Letter to the Editor to [email protected]

About Kayta Gajdos

Dr. Kathleen Curzie Gajdos ("Kayta") is a licensed psychologist (Pennsylvania and Delaware) who has worked with individuals, couples, and families with a spectrum of problems. She has experience and training in the fields of alcohol and drug addictions, hypnosis, family therapy, Jungian theory, Gestalt therapy, EMDR, and bereavement. Dr. Gajdos developed a private practice in the Pittsburgh area, and was affiliated with the Family Therapy Institute of Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, having written numerous articles for the Family Therapy Newsletter there. She has published in the American Psychological Association Bulletin, the Family Psychologist, and in the Swedenborgian publications, Chrysalis and The Messenger. Dr. Gajdos has taught at the college level, most recently for West Chester University and Wilmington College, and has served as field faculty for Vermont College of Norwich University the Union Institute's Center for Distance Learning, Cincinnati, Ohio. She has also served as consulting psychologist to the Irene Stacy Community MH/MR Center in Western Pennsylvania where she supervised psychologists in training. Currently active in disaster relief, Dr. Gajdos serves with the American Red Cross and participated in Hurricane Katrina relief efforts as a member of teams from the Department of Health and Human Services' Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Now living in Chadds Ford, in the Brandywine Valley of eastern Pennsylvania, Dr. Gajdos combines her private practice working with individuals, couples and families, with leading workshops on such topics as grief and healing, the impact of multigenerational grief and trauma shame, the shadow and self, Women Who Run with the Wolves, motherless daughters, and mediation and relaxation. Each year at Temenos Retreat Center in West Chester, PA she leads a griefs of birthing ritual for those who have suffered losses of procreation (abortions, miscarriages, infertility, etc.); she also holds yearly A Day of Re-Collection at Temenos.Dr. Gajdos holds Master's degrees in both philosophy and clinical psychology and received her Ph.D. in counseling at the University of Pittsburgh. Among her professional affiliations, she includes having been a founding member and board member of the C.G. Jung Educational Center of Pittsburgh, as well as being listed in Who's Who of American Women. Currently, she is a member of the American Psychological Association, The Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the Delaware Psychological Association, the American Family Therapy Academy, The Association for Death Education and Counseling, and the Delaware County Mental Health and Mental Retardation Board. Woven into her professional career are Dr. Gajdos' pursuits of dancing, singing, and writing poetry.