Often, when parents with small children come into my office, I recommend that they and their children watch Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood together.
And I often get a raised eyebrow or a sideways glance and perhaps even a comment such as “Why?” or “He's so … hmm.”
How unfortunate that Mr. Rogers is not taken seriously or worse cast aside entirely. In this era where they hype is on “family values” while “reality” shows abound, Mr. Rogers, even though he died in 2003, through his program, provides real value.
Years ago, when my children were young, his programs offered a calming time for all of us. Mr. Rogers gentle manner and psychologically savvy words offered a soothing balm to daily frustrations of toddler-hood (and beyond).
When Mr. Rogers looks into the camera and says, “I like you just the way you are,” he is authentic. (My family and I met Mr. Rogers once and can attest that his kindness and attentiveness is genuine.)
In the World According to Mr. Rogers, a collection of his wise words, he states, “When I say, ‘It's you I like,’ I m talking about … that deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind can't survive: love that conquers hate, peace that rises triumphant over war, and justice that proves more powerful than greed.”
Mr. Rogers was not only an ordained minister but was also schooled in child development theory. So what can we glean from Mr. Rogers, his neighborhood, and his thoughtful songs? Perhaps we could learn how to be patient with one another; how to face our fears (“it's only when I feel let down, I might be scared into a clown”); how to be aware of our feelings (“the very same people who are mad sometimes are the very same people who are glad sometimes”).
Mr. Rogers continues to remind us to imagine “… what our real neighborhood would be like if each of us offered as a matter of course, just one kind word to another person. … Think of the ripple effect that can be created when we nourish someone. One kind empathetic word has a wonderful way of turning into many.”
Mr. Rogers’ wisdom remains an antidote to James Dobson and Focus on the Family's many misguided notions regarding children and their development.
This column was first published in 2005 in the Chadds Ford Post. I changed it slightly. Kayta

About Kayta Gajdos
Dr. Kathleen Curzie Gajdos ("Kayta") is a licensed psychologist (Pennsylvania and Delaware) who has worked with individuals, couples, and families with a spectrum of problems. She has experience and training in the fields of alcohol and drug addictions, hypnosis, family therapy, Jungian theory, Gestalt therapy, EMDR, and bereavement. Dr. Gajdos developed a private practice in the Pittsburgh area, and was affiliated with the Family Therapy Institute of Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, having written numerous articles for the Family Therapy Newsletter there. She has published in the American Psychological Association Bulletin, the Family Psychologist, and in the Swedenborgian publications, Chrysalis and The Messenger. Dr. Gajdos has taught at the college level, most recently for West Chester University and Wilmington College, and has served as field faculty for Vermont College of Norwich University the Union Institute's Center for Distance Learning, Cincinnati, Ohio. She has also served as consulting psychologist to the Irene Stacy Community MH/MR Center in Western Pennsylvania where she supervised psychologists in training. Currently active in disaster relief, Dr. Gajdos serves with the American Red Cross and participated in Hurricane Katrina relief efforts as a member of teams from the Department of Health and Human Services' Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Now living in Chadds Ford, in the Brandywine Valley of eastern Pennsylvania, Dr. Gajdos combines her private practice working with individuals, couples and families, with leading workshops on such topics as grief and healing, the impact of multigenerational grief and trauma shame, the shadow and self, Women Who Run with the Wolves, motherless daughters, and mediation and relaxation. Each year at Temenos Retreat Center in West Chester, PA she leads a griefs of birthing ritual for those who have suffered losses of procreation (abortions, miscarriages, infertility, etc.); she also holds yearly A Day of Re-Collection at Temenos.Dr. Gajdos holds Master's degrees in both philosophy and clinical psychology and received her Ph.D. in counseling at the University of Pittsburgh. Among her professional affiliations, she includes having been a founding member and board member of the C.G. Jung Educational Center of Pittsburgh, as well as being listed in Who's Who of American Women. Currently, she is a member of the American Psychological Association, The Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the Delaware Psychological Association, the American Family Therapy Academy, The Association for Death Education and Counseling, and the Delaware County Mental Health and Mental Retardation Board. Woven into her professional career are Dr. Gajdos' pursuits of dancing, singing, and writing poetry.
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