Scientific America, Business Insider, and the Harvard Business Review, all confirm that flattery works. Through extensive research, it has been proved that people respond to flattery even when they know it's insincere. For example, a car salesman might tell the customer that she looks fantastic in a new sports car and that it makes her look 10 years younger. The consumer knows that the salesman is lying. But on a deep emotional level, she responds to the flattery.
Down the same line, a columnist for the BBC talked about being asked to speak at a conference. She didn't want to do it, but the woman who emailed her used flattery. She said, "Your column has changed my life. Everyone on our team would be thrilled to have you come." She knew that this wasn't true but, on a deep emotional level, it stroked her ego enough to say yes. The flattery worked.
Of course, flattery doesn't simply work in the world of marketing. It also affects morality, philosophy, and religion. No matter what sin or error we embrace, we can always find someone who will say, “You’re doing the right thing.” A husband can always find someone to say that he needs to leave his wife for another woman because it will be better for everyone if he is “happy.” A drug addict can always find a friend to say that he is embracing freedom. A racist can always find someone else to vindicate his bigotry.
In the same way, false religion flatters us by saying that we are good enough to get into heaven on our own. But the Bible tells the truth – we can't do it by our own strength which is why Jesus lived a perfect life, died of sacrificial death, and rose again from the dead. Similarly, new age philosophy flatters us by saying that we have light within us that just needs to be unleashed But again, the Bible tells the truth – apart from the light of God's Son, we dwell in darkness.
You see, we don't need flattery; we need truth. We must be honest about the fact that we’re sinners, which brings death and that we can't avoid it by our own strength. We must be honest about the fact that no religion or ceremony can make up for the bad things we've done. But at the same time, the gospel says that God loved us enough to send his own Son to take upon himself a true human nature. He was born in human weakness, under the law, so that he could redeem those who were under the law. He lived the perfect life that we could never live. He died a sacrificial death on the cross that we deserve. He rose from the dead so that we can be raised up with him on the last day. This isn’t flattery; it's truth.
About Will Stern
Originally from Colorado, Will Stern is the pastor of Hope Presbyterian Church in Garnet Valley. He majored in violin performance for his undergrad and taught violin for a number of years before being called into ministry. He studied theology at Duke University and Westminster Theological Seminary.
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