Mind Matters: Reflections and memorials

For the July 4 holiday weekend, my family and I trekked to Washington D.C. mostly to spend some time with my son who has just moved there. The weekend was a weave of family dynamics and touristy sightseeing of the nation’s capital.

Have you ever wondered how nations manage to make treaties at all, when families have trouble enough coming to consensus about what to see next or where to eat? As a microcosmic metaphor for the global community aside, we did all marvel at the various quotes we read at all the memorials; particularly Martin Luther King’s, Thomas Jefferson’s and Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s. Aspirations to idealism abound yet we know the truth of Jefferson having slaves and Roosevelt’s internment of thousands upon thousands of innocent Japanese Americans during WWII.

Perhaps again looking at our leaders is indeed like seeing our own families’ foibles, recognizing the contradictions of word and deed not only in presidents but also in our kin. Becoming a mature adult does mean coming to terms with the imperfections of our parents, no longer idealizing them but seeing them as fallible human beings. So it is with leaders and their lofty words — recognizing the aspirations as ideals to constantly strive for even when reality defies the reach.

King’s memorial is especially poignant and meaningful. His statement, “We shall overcome because the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice” speaks directly about how our social conscience and consciousness is a long hard process.

Roosevelt and King are quoted similarly for their stance on war. The King quote reads, “It is not enough to say, ‘We must not wage war. ‘ It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it. We must concentrate not merely on the negative expulsion of war, but on the positive affirmation of peace.” (1962)

Roosevelt, in 1943, said: “Unless the peace that follows recognizes that the whole world is one neighborhood and does justice to the whole human race, the germs of another world war will remain as a constant threat to mankind.”

We know Jefferson, of course, for the Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.” Another quote in his memorial attests to his theoretical hatred of slavery despite his own reality, “Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just, that his justice cannot sleep forever. Commerce between master and slave is despotism.” Does this belie true conflict in his own heart?

More than a hundred years later, Roosevelt reminds us, “Among American citizens, there should be no forgotten men and no forgotten races.” He also spoke to overcoming economic inequality: “… The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little.”

Roosevelt presciently rebukes the climate deniers, with his words delivered in 1933: “Men and nature must work hand in hand. The throwing out of balance of the resources of nature throws out of balance also the lives of men.”

Jefferson had his own prescience when he said: “… laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times.” Jefferson allows for the expansion of consciousness.

Both Roosevelt and Jefferson would concur with King that, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied to a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly.”

All were words to aspire to, even when reality at times seems to contradict our journey through history to a higher consciousness. Consider such quotes as seeds of hope germinating in us all.

* Kayta Curzie Gajdos holds a doctorate in counseling psychology and is in private practice in Chadds Ford, Pennsylvania. She welcomes comments at MindMatters@DrGajdos.com or 610-388-2888. Past columns are posted to www.drgajdos.com. See book.quietwisdom-loudtimes.com for information about her book, “Quiet Wisdom in Loud Times: The Rise of the Wounded Feminine.”

** The opinions expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the ownership or management of Chadds Ford Live. We welcome opposing viewpoints. Readers may comment in the comments section or they may submit a Letter to the Editor to: editor@chaddsfordlive.com

 

 

About Kayta Gajdos

Dr. Kathleen Curzie Gajdos ("Kayta") is a licensed psychologist (Pennsylvania and Delaware) who has worked with individuals, couples, and families with a spectrum of problems. She has experience and training in the fields of alcohol and drug addictions, hypnosis, family therapy, Jungian theory, Gestalt therapy, EMDR, and bereavement. Dr. Gajdos developed a private practice in the Pittsburgh area, and was affiliated with the Family Therapy Institute of Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, having written numerous articles for the Family Therapy Newsletter there. She has published in the American Psychological Association Bulletin, the Family Psychologist, and in the Swedenborgian publications, Chrysalis and The Messenger. Dr. Gajdos has taught at the college level, most recently for West Chester University and Wilmington College, and has served as field faculty for Vermont College of Norwich University the Union Institute's Center for Distance Learning, Cincinnati, Ohio. She has also served as consulting psychologist to the Irene Stacy Community MH/MR Center in Western Pennsylvania where she supervised psychologists in training. Currently active in disaster relief, Dr. Gajdos serves with the American Red Cross and participated in Hurricane Katrina relief efforts as a member of teams from the Department of Health and Human Services' Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Now living in Chadds Ford, in the Brandywine Valley of eastern Pennsylvania, Dr. Gajdos combines her private practice working with individuals, couples and families, with leading workshops on such topics as grief and healing, the impact of multigenerational grief and trauma shame, the shadow and self, Women Who Run with the Wolves, motherless daughters, and mediation and relaxation. Each year at Temenos Retreat Center in West Chester, PA she leads a griefs of birthing ritual for those who have suffered losses of procreation (abortions, miscarriages, infertility, etc.); she also holds yearly A Day of Re-Collection at Temenos.Dr. Gajdos holds Master's degrees in both philosophy and clinical psychology and received her Ph.D. in counseling at the University of Pittsburgh. Among her professional affiliations, she includes having been a founding member and board member of the C.G. Jung Educational Center of Pittsburgh, as well as being listed in Who's Who of American Women. Currently, she is a member of the American Psychological Association, The Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the Delaware Psychological Association, the American Family Therapy Academy, The Association for Death Education and Counseling, and the Delaware County Mental Health and Mental Retardation Board. Woven into her professional career are Dr. Gajdos' pursuits of dancing, singing, and writing poetry.

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