Rabbinic Reflections: The force of mindsets

Forget the platitudes about giving and receiving. At this time of year, we are all inundated with pressure to think about gifts. Having just survived eight nights of Hanukkah with multiple children, I can tell you that neither giving gifts nor receiving them is without moral complexity. While it may be better to give than to receive, one can give poorly or receive graciously. Under the assault of seasonal consumerism, the goodness of one’s behavior is going to depend less on proverbial teachings and much more on mindset.

Do you see your resources as scarce or abundant? Do you experience life as a rat race, zero-sum game, or as a world of opportunity, community, or grace? When we focus on scarcity, our mind is set to worry, blame, anger, and fear. When we focus on abundance, our mind is set on generosity, confidence, joy, and faith. These mindsets are not mutually exclusive; we inhabit both of them sometimes in balance, other times in alternation, and often singly for extended periods.

With “Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens” opening this weekend, it is hard not to think of Anakin Skywalker’s path from Jedi to Sith, to the “dark side” embodied by his Darth Vader identity, and then of his redemption. When his anger ruled, he was turned. When his son Luke saw the good in him, he overthrew an emperor. I do not know what the new movie holds for us, but I think it is safe to say that the question for the new generation will be whether they can see abundance even when things become scarce.

This year, the Hanukkah candles helped me to see abundance. The ancient rabbis argued whether we should light candles as we do, increasing the number from one to eight, one night at a time, or decreasing the number from eight to one, one night at a time. The Talmud records different reasons from increasing in holiness to paralleling the sacrifices offered in the Temple. The metaphorical difference between the two schools of thought reflects the difference between a world of expansion and a world of status quo limitations. I mentioned that we follow the school that says to increase the light, so too should we increase our openness to abundance thinking.

How much brighter is this time of year than early autumn even though the sun sets earlier in the day? There are lights everywhere. How much more do we think about others (as we try to find the right gift) now than at other times of year? How much more do we, if we get beyond greedy expectation, ideally feel loved as we open gifts? How much more harmony and joy do we experience when we celebrate with others instead of merely showing up to obligatory parties? The actions are largely the same, but the mindset makes the difference.

Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe teaches that there are two parallel worlds matching the abundance and scarcity mindsets: olam ha’yedidut (the world of friendship) and olam ha’zarut (the world of estrangement). The very names of these worlds point to the challenge: if we want to be able to connect to others, we have to recognize scarcity thinking as an estrangement, from others and from ourselves.

Each of us has divine light within. To let that light shine, we must acknowledge that which keeps our flame lonely and that which adds fire, heat, and light in our lives. Sale prices that grab shoppers change rapidly, while finding someone to whom to give a meaningful gift happens slowly. It is easy to get frustrated online or in a store; it is harder to see the variety on a shelf as an opportunity to demonstrate care for another. If, on balance, we do more of the latter, we will increase the holiness in our lives. We will experience more joy, more happiness, more harmony, and more gratitude. By seeing abundance, we can dwell in the mindset that gives us faith to get through winter.

Happy Holidays.

The opinions expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the ownership or management of Chadds Ford Live. We welcome opposing viewpoints. Readers may comment in the comments section or they may submit a Letter to the Editor to: editor@chaddsfordlive.com

 

About Rabbi Jeremy Winaker

Rabbi Jeremy Winaker is the executive director of the Greater Philadelphia Hillel Network, responsible for West Chester University, Haverford, Bryn Mawr, and other area colleges. He is the former head of school at the Albert Einstein Academy in Wilmington and was the senior Jewish educator at the Kristol Hillel Center at the University of Delaware for four years. Rabbi Winaker lives in Delaware with his wife and three children.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Comments

comments

Leave a Reply