Mind Matters: A grandmother’s prayer

I sit, watching the river flow by at the Brandywine River Museum of Art, while I ponder a Grandmother’s Prayer to her grandchild. Nearby, sits a new mother nursing her baby as the grandmother beams joy. A Mary Cassatt moment in a Kaethe Kollwitz world.

You may know Mary Cassatt’s paintings of serene mothers and children. Kaethe Kollwitz, however, was an artist who endured World Wars I and II in Germany. While her works were also of mothers and children, they depicted death, traumatic grief, poverty, and social unrest. (Needless to say, she was not favored in any way by Hitler.)

And so it is: our world pendulates between the loving inter-generational scene at the museum and the scenes of refugee families fleeing terrorism and war; and violence and shootings here.

Recently, I sang in an Anna Crusis women’s choir concert. One song, “A Thousand Grandmothers,” by Holly Near seems especially relevant, carrying this pendulation with its words. One chorister reflected how the song connected her to the pain of the grandmother of the six-month-old whose parents were killed, after they themselves murdered 14 people and injured many more. This was, of course, the San Bernadino, California, attack.

This grandmother’s disenfranchised grief and her grandchild’s senseless loss of father and mother can be added to all the other grief and trauma that the families in that community are experiencing.

Would that Holly Near’s words not simply ring out but be lived out:

Send in a thousand Grandmothers, they will surely volunteer
With their ancient wisdom flowing …
Sweet freedom songs they’ll sing.
A lullaby much stronger than bombs or threats to kill
A force unlike we’ve ever seen they will break the murderers’ will
They will break the murderers’ will. …
Let them rock the few who steal the most and rule with youthful charms
So they’ll see the damage that they do and will fall into Grandma’s arms. …
If you think these women are too soft to face the world at hand
Then you’ve never known the power of love and you fail to understand
An old woman holds a powerful force when she no longer needs to please
She can cut your shallow lies to bits and bring you to your knees. …
And pray for a thousand grandmothers will you please come volunteer
No longer tucked deep out of sight, will you bring your power here. …

My grandmother’s prayer for her grandchildren is my response to a “A Thousand Grandmothers” call. It is this:

May the cancer of prejudice and bigotry be cured.
May people accept they are more alike than different from one another.
May people understand that spirituality—whatever religion—is rooted in love and kindness, not hatred and revenge.
May people blinded by power and wealth see through the illusions those things bring.
May people deaf to the truth about climate change, hear and take action.
May people muted be able to speak truth to power.

Little one, we humans have been circling around the same themes for thousands of years. Just remember, that’s okay. Martin Luther King said, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.” So little one, carry us forward on this human journey to greater consciousness! You can!

* Kayta Curzie Gajdos holds a doctorate in counseling psychology and is in private practice in Chadds Ford, Pennsylvania. She welcomes comments at MindMatters@DrGajdos.com or 610-388-2888. Past columns are posted to www.drgajdos.com. See book.quietwisdom-loudtimes.com for information about her book, Quiet Wisdom in Loud Times: The Rise of the Wounded Feminine.

The opinions expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the ownership or management of Chadds Ford Live. We welcome opposing viewpoints. Readers may comment in the comments section or they may submit a Letter to the Editor to: editor@chaddsfordlive.com

 

About Kayta Gajdos

Dr. Kathleen Curzie Gajdos ("Kayta") is a licensed psychologist (Pennsylvania and Delaware) who has worked with individuals, couples, and families with a spectrum of problems. She has experience and training in the fields of alcohol and drug addictions, hypnosis, family therapy, Jungian theory, Gestalt therapy, EMDR, and bereavement. Dr. Gajdos developed a private practice in the Pittsburgh area, and was affiliated with the Family Therapy Institute of Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, having written numerous articles for the Family Therapy Newsletter there. She has published in the American Psychological Association Bulletin, the Family Psychologist, and in the Swedenborgian publications, Chrysalis and The Messenger. Dr. Gajdos has taught at the college level, most recently for West Chester University and Wilmington College, and has served as field faculty for Vermont College of Norwich University the Union Institute's Center for Distance Learning, Cincinnati, Ohio. She has also served as consulting psychologist to the Irene Stacy Community MH/MR Center in Western Pennsylvania where she supervised psychologists in training. Currently active in disaster relief, Dr. Gajdos serves with the American Red Cross and participated in Hurricane Katrina relief efforts as a member of teams from the Department of Health and Human Services' Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Now living in Chadds Ford, in the Brandywine Valley of eastern Pennsylvania, Dr. Gajdos combines her private practice working with individuals, couples and families, with leading workshops on such topics as grief and healing, the impact of multigenerational grief and trauma shame, the shadow and self, Women Who Run with the Wolves, motherless daughters, and mediation and relaxation. Each year at Temenos Retreat Center in West Chester, PA she leads a griefs of birthing ritual for those who have suffered losses of procreation (abortions, miscarriages, infertility, etc.); she also holds yearly A Day of Re-Collection at Temenos.Dr. Gajdos holds Master's degrees in both philosophy and clinical psychology and received her Ph.D. in counseling at the University of Pittsburgh. Among her professional affiliations, she includes having been a founding member and board member of the C.G. Jung Educational Center of Pittsburgh, as well as being listed in Who's Who of American Women. Currently, she is a member of the American Psychological Association, The Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the Delaware Psychological Association, the American Family Therapy Academy, The Association for Death Education and Counseling, and the Delaware County Mental Health and Mental Retardation Board. Woven into her professional career are Dr. Gajdos' pursuits of dancing, singing, and writing poetry.

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