Mind Matters: The denial defense

Posted by Dr. Kayta Gajdos on May 21, 2014

I write this on my mother’s birthday, remembering when, years ago, she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Denial is no stranger to me, but when I heard the news, I was stunned into reality immediately, maybe because I had been having an uneasy feeling about some of her behaviors preceding the diagnosis.

The first red flag was when she had block printed a note and had written the letter E empty of its middle stem. I pondered that, not knowing what to do. Later another red flag popped up when she went to grandparents’ day at my children’s school and fell asleep in class. For some other 84-year-olds this would have been the norm; not for her, the quintessential grandmother actively engaged in all matters of her little loves. These were just a few of the few clues I was witnessing.

However, my family of origin hadn’t been reading her behavior as I had; and so when the diagnosis came, they were in denial, adamant that a second opinion be gotten. This was no easy task given the rate of physical decline that began to appear. Nevertheless, even with the second opinion, it seemed to me that the denial prevailed.

This is all past history, but I thought about it tonight as I was driving home from a Delaware Medical Reserve Corps meeting and listening to the radio where a climate scientist was being interviewed. There is a connection in all this; in fact, there is much that intersects with climate change. For now, suffice it to say that denial of climate change is a psychological defense against fear of the reality it portends, and that such denial will not serve us well in the future.

Since I have some knowledge of volunteerism with the Red Cross and with the Medical Reserve Corps, let me relate my concerns about volunteerism and sheltering operations in an emergency. Examples of such emergencies are tornadoes, floods, hurricanes, fires and earthquakes. Tonight’s MRC talk was about serving the needs of people with functional and access needs in such shelters. Thus, people who come to shelters in an evacuation may have mobility impairments, or autism, may be blind or deaf, may have cognitive disabilities, and so on. Also shelter residents can be both elderly and newborn, with every age range in between. Think about it, all these diverse people needing emergency shelter. I am always amazed at the volunteers and others in emergency preparedness who serve those who have been affected by disasters.

However, my abiding concern is that with climate change the intensity and frequency of floods, fires, hurricanes, tornadoes, and, yes, even earthquakes (which can be precipitated by climate change, as well as by fracking) is on the rise. So reflect with me on this: Will there be cumulative burnout of volunteers who respond to more and more disasters? Will we be willing to pay taxes to pay for relief efforts?

Denial as a defense only works for so long. It takes courage to face our fears.

* Kayta Curzie Gajdos holds a doctorate in counseling psychology and is in private practice in Chadds Ford, Pennsylvania. She welcomes comments at MindMatters@DrGajdos.com or 610-388-2888. Past columns are posted to www.drgajdos.com.

About Kayta Gajdos

Dr. Kathleen Curzie Gajdos ("Kayta") is a licensed psychologist (Pennsylvania and Delaware) who has worked with individuals, couples, and families with a spectrum of problems. She has experience and training in the fields of alcohol and drug addictions, hypnosis, family therapy, Jungian theory, Gestalt therapy, EMDR, and bereavement. Dr. Gajdos developed a private practice in the Pittsburgh area, and was affiliated with the Family Therapy Institute of Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, having written numerous articles for the Family Therapy Newsletter there. She has published in the American Psychological Association Bulletin, the Family Psychologist, and in the Swedenborgian publications, Chrysalis and The Messenger. Dr. Gajdos has taught at the college level, most recently for West Chester University and Wilmington College, and has served as field faculty for Vermont College of Norwich University the Union Institute's Center for Distance Learning, Cincinnati, Ohio. She has also served as consulting psychologist to the Irene Stacy Community MH/MR Center in Western Pennsylvania where she supervised psychologists in training. Currently active in disaster relief, Dr. Gajdos serves with the American Red Cross and participated in Hurricane Katrina relief efforts as a member of teams from the Department of Health and Human Services' Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Now living in Chadds Ford, in the Brandywine Valley of eastern Pennsylvania, Dr. Gajdos combines her private practice working with individuals, couples and families, with leading workshops on such topics as grief and healing, the impact of multigenerational grief and trauma shame, the shadow and self, Women Who Run with the Wolves, motherless daughters, and mediation and relaxation. Each year at Temenos Retreat Center in West Chester, PA she leads a griefs of birthing ritual for those who have suffered losses of procreation (abortions, miscarriages, infertility, etc.); she also holds yearly A Day of Re-Collection at Temenos.Dr. Gajdos holds Master's degrees in both philosophy and clinical psychology and received her Ph.D. in counseling at the University of Pittsburgh. Among her professional affiliations, she includes having been a founding member and board member of the C.G. Jung Educational Center of Pittsburgh, as well as being listed in Who's Who of American Women. Currently, she is a member of the American Psychological Association, The Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the Delaware Psychological Association, the American Family Therapy Academy, The Association for Death Education and Counseling, and the Delaware County Mental Health and Mental Retardation Board. Woven into her professional career are Dr. Gajdos' pursuits of dancing, singing, and writing poetry.