Blogging Along the Brandywine: The inside story

According to American Medical Association statistics, 50 percent of adults have not had a procedure that takes 15 minutes, is 100 percent painless and can save you from the second leading cancer killer in the world.

I had it at the Fern Hill Medical Campus in West Chester on Monday, Jan. 6, and it was a breeze.

It’s a five-syllable word with the accent on the third. Let’s say it together boys and girls. co-lon-OS-co-py.

I see you cringing. And don’t you dare click that escape key, I want to change your minds.

When I was admitted to the Chester County Hospital in September for routine surgery, every nurse asked for my medical history. Don’t they have some kind of central database?

So of course when I mentioned my grandmother having had several inches of colon removed in the mid 1960s. The next question was: “Have you had your screening colonoscopy?”

Uhhhh…They might as well have asked if I wanted to have a screening root canal.

Some weeks later with prescription in hand, I made the dreaded appointment.

So here’s the inside story.

Saturday: No whole grains, nuts, corn or seeds. Darn, no more raiding the back yard birdfeeder.

Sunday: Only clear liquids. (Except red and purple — no offense guys). I could drink my favorite Constant Comment Tea, Welches White Grape Juice, ginger ale (fills you up with carbonation), clear broth (great for dinner) and orange popsicles.

But now the fun really starts.

At 4 p.m. I open the prescription envelope of prep powder — they even throw in a little plastic 8 ounce measuring cup.

Then you drink this trendy cocktail. Kind of taste likes old 7-Up or Sprite. Blecch!

Then you wait about 20 minutes.

Ever had a bad intestinal virus? Yeah – that’s what happens next.

Then at 10 p.m. you get to drink the warm 7-Up again with the same outcome.

Of course all evening you get to drink copious amounts of more clear fluids to make the effects of the “7-Up-tini” even more entertaining.

Monday: My husband took me to the Fern Hill Medical Campus for my 7 a.m. arrival. Most of the time was taken up trying to change my name from Denk to Hoey in their records. They gave me an ID bracelet and took me to my hospital bed where I changed into one of those sweet little gowns that open in the back (definitely not Gucci).

Then a ride into the procedure room. The oxygen feed was clipped in my nose and the nurse said they were going to start the anesthesia IV.

Then she said something very strange….”You’re in the recovery room”. It was 8:12 a.m.

The anesthesia wore off as quickly as it had taken effect.

And next, party favors!

Eight color digital photos from the “inside story.” Awesome!  (And, no I didn’t attach them to the story, you silly people.)

I got dressed, walked out to the reception area and met my husband who was my designated driver. Yes, you’re considered legally intoxicated after anesthesia.

In the waiting room a poster read: “Colon Cancer remains the second leading cancer killer in the United States, despite publicity, because less than 50 percent of eligible adults have been screened.”

So just do it.  A 15-minute nap today can prevent a devastating diagnosis five years from now.

About Sally Denk Hoey

Sally Denk Hoey, is a Gemini - one part music and one part history. She holds a masters degree cum laude from the School of Music at West Chester University. She taught 14 years in both public and private school. Her CD "Bard of the Brandywine" was critically received during her almost 30 years as a folk singer. She currently cantors masses at St Agnes Church in West Chester where she also performs with the select Motet Choir. A recognized historian, Sally serves as a judge-captain for the south-east Pennsylvania regionals of the National History Day Competition. She has served as president of the Brandywine Battlefield Park Associates as well as the Sanderson Museum in Chadds Ford where she now curates the violin collection. Sally re-enacted with the 43rd Regiment of Foot and the 2nd Pennsylvania Regiment for 19 years where she interpreted the role of a campfollower at encampments in Valley Forge, Williamsburg, Va., Monmouth, N.J. and Lexington and Concord, Mass. Sally is married to her college classmate, Thomas Hoey, otherwise known as "Mr. Sousa.”

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