Dear
Jeanne-Marie,

I divorced
several years ago and I really want to meet someone worthwhile, but it seems
that each date is worse than the next. Do you have any dating tips for me?

Signed,
Back in the Game

Short Answer

Do not give up. The trick is to safely date as many people as possible to
find a connection. It is all in the numbers. But first be sure you are truly
over your ex.

Signed,

Jeanne-Marie

In My Experience

Divorce is the death of a marriage, a
lifestyle, a view of yourself, a dream of how life was going to be. It usually
takes someone half the amount of years of the marriage to be really ready for a
new relationship. For example, if married 6 years, it will take 3 years. If
married 12 years, it will take 6 years. It doesn't mean a person shouldn't meet
new people and date, but TRUST ME, there will be a 'third party' present during
all encounters; the unfinished business with the ex!

That being said, the first thing I learned is to stop making dinner dates
and just meet for a one hour, casual coffee or a drink. If you connect, great;
if not, keep going. Just remember,
it is so rare to meet a gem, stop dating others if you connect and really give
it a chance or someone smarter will 'scoop' him or her up because just like
you, a normal, nice, attractive, non-crazy person who is attracted to you is
hard to find.

I have also
learned some not-so-good things:
Off-color jokes are code for “Will
it be easy to 'get lucky’ with you?”.

Sexist and racist jokes are code for ”I am an angry, dangerous person”.
If consistently late, they really don't want to be there.
People who only text or email are
afraid to speak freely, need time
to compose words, and do not want you to know their real personality.

And then there are Internet dating sites:

What started out as a good idea for those out
of the bar scene age-range has turned into a computer game of fantasy and lies,
not reality. New sites pop up every day that actually advertise the ability to
meet that fantasy (for a fee). You do not know who is really on the other side
of the computer. False pictures are easily uploaded. Beware.

Any man or woman worth meeting is not spending their
evenings behind a computer screen. Go the old fashioned way and get out and do
interesting things. You will meet people and have fun!

On a final note…

I have a friend who met a
guy she really likes, but no matter how much she calls him, emails him, buys
him thoughtful gifts and treats him really well, he always has a reason why they
can't get together. She keeps
wondering what else she should do.

My answer to her was:

“There is something you
should do right away. Watch the DVD or read the book, “He’s Not That Into You.”

It will answer all of your
questions today and for the rest of your romantic life!

Signed,
Jeanne-Marie

(Please click Rating above or comment
below. If you would like to read older columns, click About the Author under
picture.)

*Jeanne-Marie Curtis came from
Philadelphia to Chadds Ford Township in

1990.
She has her BBA in HR Management/Employment Law. She is the author of Junctions by Jeanne-Marie (Every Woman’s
Journey and Journal) available at ChaddsFordLive.com Products/Books.

To submit a question: email
Jeanne-Marie at junctionsbyjm@aol.com