Dear
Jeanne-Marie,

My son has just turned 12 and he no longer wants to go anywhere with me or the family. He is not unhappy. He just resists. In the past we had so much fun together. What is happening?

Signed,

Sad
Dad

Short Answer

Dear
Sad Dad,

Your baby is not a baby anymore. It is humiliating to be seen with a parent at that age. Don’t you remember? Andheaven help you if you try to hug or kiss him in public!

In My Experience

Dear Sad Dad,

Everyyear I would take my daughter to Disney World during spring break. We had so much fun together; I felt like a kid myself. We rode all the rides, ate whatever and whenever we wanted, posed with princesses, and even enjoyed feeding quarters in the on-site laundromat.

Then one day, in a very solemn voice, my daughter made this announcement:

“Mom I think I am too old to go to on vacation with you anymore. I would feel like a dork.”

One part of me was proud of her for speaking up and the other part of me wanted to burst into tears. I held onto the tears until I was in the shower and then I let loose.

My baby was not a baby anymore.

It was over.

It took a long time to adjust but nature has a way of evening things out. Hormones will eventually take over and your son will become so obnoxious that you will be praying for the day he is out of your house!

Then…Just as you have gotten used to him not being a baby anymore the real issues start; learning to drive, girlfriends, parties, clothing ‘selections’, the agony of pimples, hair in the face, awful school pictures, alcohol and drug fears, breaking curfew…just to name a few.

After you have mastered all of that, the real breaking away begins. They start planning for college, you visit campuses, see the guidance counselor, shriek at the cost of just an in state college and have to face the truth.

They are leaving. But what you must remember is that you were a GOOD PARENT and have raised a normal, healthy boy who is beginning the normal, healthy process of breaking away to his own life.

This is the cycle of life and it will break your heart. When we became parents we never thought of the day our children would be gone. But they will. Just as we did. Not a day passes that I do not think of how my actions must have felt to my parents and how oblivious I was. So the moral here is this; try to stop dwelling on the past or you will miss the present. There are a whole new set of memories about to happen.

Wait for them. They are coming.

Signed,

Jeanne-Marie

 

*Jeanne-Marie
Curtis came from Philadelphia to Chadds Ford Township in 1990. She has her BBA in HR Management/Employment Law. She
is the author of Junctions by Jeanne-Marie (Every Woman’s Journey and Journal) available at ChaddsFordLive.com Products/Books.

*To submit a question: email Jeanne-Marie at
junctionsbyjm@aol.com