Mind Matters: 2011 reflections, not resolutions

I kissed a dolphin. I saw the
Milky Way whisk its cloudy streak across a millions of light-years away starry
sky. I sat in awe of goddess Pele’s volcano billowing redness into the deep
blackness that is a Hawaiian night. All
this in the final days of 2010. I was fortunate enough to go to Hawaii
during Christmas week to attend a conference and present there a psychological
perspective on the Stieg Larsson trilogy.

For this I am grateful. Ah, but
I am back. Now I look up at the night sky where stars are hiding behind the
light pollution of the Eastern seaboard, and where we walk the earth forgetting
that deep below its crust is a fiery molten core. So easy to lose ourselves in
the everydayness of our lives. Of course, we need to focus on our daily needs
just so we can keep afloat, keep alive. Yet we also need, from time to time, to
be in awe of the vastness of our universe. And to know we are not in control.
We cannot control Mother Earth’s volcanic eruptions; we cannot dominate the
galaxies or the earth, for that matter. The paradox is that recognizing how
little any of us really control—no matter how wealthy, how royal, how bright,
how famous—and recognizing how minute we all are in the grand scale of things
helps level the playing field.

In such an infinite universe,
we, each individual human being, is cast into the world as our own unique star.
There is not one of us that is like another. Snowflakes hold no truck with us
in the realm of diversity. So perhaps the 2011 reflection here is for each of
us to ponder how we are unique, ponder what our particular meaning for being
here is. Perhaps we all can ask, What is it that I want to see happen in my
life, year 2011? I’m not talking about making it onto “Dancing with the Stars”—you,
I, we, all are stars. Saint Therese (not the big Therese of Avila, but the
little Therese of Lisieux) was content to mop a kitchen floor and let that be
her way to shine.

We lose our luster when we
project our own glitter onto someone else’s glory. What if your reflection this
year were to let your own star shine. Unlike the heavenly constellations, your
glow is not millions of light-years away, but is within and in this moment now.

* Kayta
Curzie Gajdos holds a doctorate in counseling psychology and is in private
practice in Chadds Ford, Pennsylvania. She welcomes comments at
MindMatters@DrGajdos.com or (610)388-2888. Past columns are posted
to
www.drgajdos.com

About Kayta Gajdos

Dr. Kathleen Curzie Gajdos ("Kayta") is a licensed psychologist (Pennsylvania and Delaware) who has worked with individuals, couples, and families with a spectrum of problems. She has experience and training in the fields of alcohol and drug addictions, hypnosis, family therapy, Jungian theory, Gestalt therapy, EMDR, and bereavement. Dr. Gajdos developed a private practice in the Pittsburgh area, and was affiliated with the Family Therapy Institute of Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, having written numerous articles for the Family Therapy Newsletter there. She has published in the American Psychological Association Bulletin, the Family Psychologist, and in the Swedenborgian publications, Chrysalis and The Messenger. Dr. Gajdos has taught at the college level, most recently for West Chester University and Wilmington College, and has served as field faculty for Vermont College of Norwich University the Union Institute's Center for Distance Learning, Cincinnati, Ohio. She has also served as consulting psychologist to the Irene Stacy Community MH/MR Center in Western Pennsylvania where she supervised psychologists in training. Currently active in disaster relief, Dr. Gajdos serves with the American Red Cross and participated in Hurricane Katrina relief efforts as a member of teams from the Department of Health and Human Services' Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.Now living in Chadds Ford, in the Brandywine Valley of eastern Pennsylvania, Dr. Gajdos combines her private practice working with individuals, couples and families, with leading workshops on such topics as grief and healing, the impact of multigenerational grief and trauma shame, the shadow and self, Women Who Run with the Wolves, motherless daughters, and mediation and relaxation. Each year at Temenos Retreat Center in West Chester, PA she leads a griefs of birthing ritual for those who have suffered losses of procreation (abortions, miscarriages, infertility, etc.); she also holds yearly A Day of Re-Collection at Temenos.Dr. Gajdos holds Master's degrees in both philosophy and clinical psychology and received her Ph.D. in counseling at the University of Pittsburgh. Among her professional affiliations, she includes having been a founding member and board member of the C.G. Jung Educational Center of Pittsburgh, as well as being listed in Who's Who of American Women. Currently, she is a member of the American Psychological Association, The Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the Delaware Psychological Association, the American Family Therapy Academy, The Association for Death Education and Counseling, and the Delaware County Mental Health and Mental Retardation Board. Woven into her professional career are Dr. Gajdos' pursuits of dancing, singing, and writing poetry.

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